Contents

Ten years Another Davis
Magical realism in reality
The battle
Multiverse
The Davis house
The Magical-Realistic Earth
Lion Hearts previous parts


Ten years Another Davis

Nine previous Lion Hearts blogs have been published. I haven’t followed a timeline in years, cross my heart and hope to die, but I realized a few months ago that Rob and I have a ten-year Another Davis anniversary on May 30, 2024, and this should not go unmentioned. After all, on May 30, 2014, he was found physically deceased behind his computer. As a result, he had left Groningen and, based on my findings, moved in with me in Another Davis. For convenience, I will omit the quotation marks around Another Davis in this blog. The perfection of the cosmos remains awe-inspiring, as Lion Hearts Part X, ten, now coincides with this ten-year milestone from 2014-2024.

May 30, 2014. And still May 29, 2014, in Davis, California. I felt it, even without knowing. An icy hand had gripped my heart. And then the knowing came too, when Jan Willem Nienhuys emailed me. J. Hennekam said that, in her view, Rob had not died on May 30 but on the evening of May 29, 2014, and that was Ascension Day. Despair set in, the search for Rob on the other side. Finding him too. The marriage with my ex, fraught from the start on January 6, 2005, was officially ended by the court on April 8, 2018, but I had been alone since the first half of 2017 when my ex suddenly left the house and immediately entered multiple relationships. I suspect that he mentally detached from me definitively on the day of Rob’s death. My ex is not clueless and likely sensed that it was over. It was certainly not clear to me in 2014. But Rob came and stayed. Looking back at who I was in May 2014, I can say that Rob might have been right when he mused aloud to me on June 12, 2012, “I certainly don’t think we are destined for each other or anything like that. I don’t think we have much in common and if we were close to each other, we might end up arguing within a day.” I was indeed far too immature (a late bloomer). Only after Rob’s death did we truly develop a good understanding. I see our failure before May 2014 primarily as my ‘fault’. For instance, I now feel much more relaxed about whether or not one ‘must’ be 100% vegan. I also understand that skeptics do not accept what they consider excuses from people who claim to have out-of-body or near-death experiences, about why they failed to provide evidence (such as reading normally invisible sequences of numbers placed high above the operating table, specifically set up to prove that consciousness can exist separately from the physical body). After all these years, the need to be right at all costs no longer interests me. What matters to me now is my love for Rob and our shared skeptical and relational interests, because yes, they were and are abundant. Only when he entered his new state of being did Rob acknowledge the depth of our connection and decided not to leave me alone. And should all this turn out to be different (which would give me infinite sorrow, which fortunately is not possible since existence would then be finite), the love I now feel from Rob remains the same. After his passing, Rob enveloped me in love and support, swathed me with endless patience and warmth, steering me away from a marriage that had completely derailed me. I finally began to see that a good relationship is supportive and can only succeed if both partners hold and propel each other with the greatest imaginable love.

Magical realism in reality

Another Davis began very early in the Lion Hearts blogs. Rob and I organically ended up there after his passing, but it was Rob himself who, from the very beginning of our contact, essentially introduced it. This began with his story and explanation of magical realism on February 25, 2006—the world in which all events almost magically align, everything has meaning and purpose, wondrous yet still real things happen, and nothing is coincidental. (See Lion Hearts III and Lion Hearts IV)

Rob Nanninga, February 25, 2006: “I can still remember one time in a dream where I saw the solution to a puzzle in an adventure game. That was quite handy because then I could finally continue with the game (the solutions were not available on the internet back then). I have also had a precognitive dream, which many might consider convincing evidence of precognition. I became somewhat superstitious for a while after that, but that gradually faded away. After that, I only entered into a sort of paranormal trance once. That was during a short vacation in Bruges where I attended a multi-day fairytale congress with two others. That week resembled a magical realist novel. A lot of surprising things happened and miraculous coincidences occurred that were all interconnected, as if nothing happened by chance. Just like in a good novel, I could detect foreshadowing, symbols, repetitions, reflections, parallels, leitmotifs, and double meanings everywhere. Although this was naturally due in large part to my own creativity, the events certainly lent themselves much better to such an analysis than usual, so much so that it also caught the attention of my travel companions. After I pointed out the common thread to them, they could follow it well.
It was during this visit to Bruges (a real fairytale city, but somewhat bourgeois) that I decided to write a critical book about parapsychology. I told this to an American first. Right after that, I went to the book fair in Frankfurt to buy some recent professional literature from the US, which at the time took months to arrive if you ordered it from a bookstore. Among other things, I bought the book “The Psychology of the Psychic.” It had a chapter on coincidences that appealed to me greatly. After that, I didn’t experience many meaningful coincidences anymore. Or did I? On the day I had my manuscript duplicated at the copy shop to send it to publishers, unexpectedly, the American showed up at my doorstep, whom I hadn’t spoken to since Bruges.”

Download Psychology of the Psychic (chapter)

Rob was/is an extremely well-read person, and you could tell, in my opinion, from all his emails. Anyone who, like me, reads the relevant chapter will discover that the authors indeed provide very solid counterarguments regarding things considered ‘too coincidental to be chance.’ The explanation often lies in the fact that people only want to see the success stories and not all those other cases where things just went about their ordinary course without divine peculiarities. It remains Rob’s strength that he keeps things open, even in this email to me, as he ends with yet another very nice case of ‘improbably coincidental.’ Although I have few of these kinds of emails from him in which he discusses his own ‘paranormal’ experiences and things like magical realism, they provide a pleasant segue for me to establish a simple definition of magical realism in reality. I choose to fill this in, trusting that Rob and I are an entangled pair and are on the same page, with the term ‘synchronicities.’
In this blog, I want to introduce the ‘new’ value of magical realism for real life, not just as value in magical realist novels.
Magical realism as an existing value in reality is based on ‘very strong coincidence’ and synchronicities. Very strong coincidence refers to events that seem to coincide or happen in a remarkable way without a clear cause or connection. These could be situations where different events are interwoven in a surprising manner, or where something unexpected occurs at a moment that is particularly relevant or significant. It can also refer to events that seem extremely unlikely but still happen. Synchronicities are events that occur simultaneously in a meaningful way, without a clear causal connection, but are perceived by the individual as related or meaningful. With what I consider a good example of synchronicity, I begin this blog: At the moment of Rob’s passing, I officially knew nothing, but in exactly the same timeframe that Rob passed away, I was suddenly overwhelmed by a profoundly negative mood where everything seemed completely black and meaningless. “Very strong coincidence” and “synchronicities” have a strong overlap, with the difference being that synchronicities involve strong coincidences happening at the same or nearly the same moment in time.

A few examples of situations that can be considered “very strong coincidence”: I strike up a conversation with a complete stranger during one of my bike rides, and we discover that we were born on the same day, in the same year, and even in the same place.
Examples of synchronicities: You’re grappling with a particular problem, walk past the bookshelves in the library, and a book falls out that contains exactly the answers you need. Another example: You’re considering making an important decision and suddenly see a car with a license plate indicating something like “YES” or “GO AHEAD.” Rob Nanninga actually had a nice example for this in his book “Parariteiten,” but managed to ‘explain it away,’ and it speaks to his credit that he made a reservation expressed in the sentence: “In this case, it could be that…”


Download Parariteiten

These examples of magical realism illustrate how meaningful coincidences can occur, where events are mysteriously and seemingly unrelatedly connected. My idea about this ‘new’ scientific value (yes, I dare), is that it is increasingly happening, or rather, people are becoming aware of it, when they are alert and look up more for answers and beyond a linear concept of time. This brings the idea that we may live in a matrix into play as well.

I’ve now let AI assist me for a moment, and I must say: AI is very helpful in this case.

My question to AI was:

How are the idea of living in a matrix (simulation, life as a kind of game, hologram idea, etc.) and the phenomenon of synchronicities intricately intertwined, if they are at all?

AI was not shy in their response:

“The idea of living in a matrix (simulation, life as a kind of game, hologram, etc.) and the phenomenon of synchronicities can be intricately intertwined in the following ways:

  1. Control and Programming:
    • In a simulation or matrix theory, it’s assumed that reality is controlled and programmed by a higher intelligence or advanced technology. Synchronicities, also known as meaningful coincidences, can be seen in this context as programmed events deliberately embedded in the simulation script by this higher intelligence to facilitate specific experiences or insights.
  2. Meaningful Patterns:
    • In a simulated reality, the experiences and events of individuals could potentially be consciously designed to form certain patterns and meanings. Synchronicities can be interpreted as indicators of these patterns, reinforcing the illusion of deeper meaning and connectedness in life.
  3. Consciousness and Perception:
    • The hologram or simulation concept suggests that what we experience as physical reality is a projection perceived by our consciousness. Synchronicities can then be seen as moments when consciousness ‘notices’ certain connections or symbols within the simulation, making it seem as if these events are meaningfully linked.
  4. Information Exchange:
    • Within a matrix or simulation, information can be exchanged in ways that may not be possible in a ‘real’ physical world. Synchronicities could then be examples of unexpected information exchanges or ‘glitches’ in the simulation that stimulate awareness and growth.
  5. The Role of the Observer:
    • In both simulation hypotheses and synchronicities, the observer plays a crucial role. The idea that our perception influences reality aligns with quantum physics and the observer effects often associated with synchronicities. This may suggest that the matrix is influenced by what its inhabitants believe and perceive.
  6. Existential Questions:
    • Both concepts raise existential questions about the nature of reality and our existence within it. They suggest that there is more than what we perceive with our senses and that our experiences are part of a larger, perhaps intentional design. Synchronicities can be seen as clues that encourage us to look beyond surface reality.

This intertwining provides a framework for understanding synchronicities within the context of a simulated or holographic reality, where such experiences can be meaningful as ‘bugs’ or ‘features’ of the matrix that give us a glimpse of the underlying structure of our reality.” (As per AI)

AI suggests here, simplified in my own words, that our world might be the creation of a very high intelligence and that synchronicities are built-in game elements meant to help us delve deeper into our reality. And I asked another question to AI:

Do you think there could be a meaningful connection between the existence of synchronicities and the possible existence of a Multiverse?

Here too, AI was not shy to respond: “There could be a meaningful link between the existence of synchronicities and the possible existence of a Multiverse. Synchronicities are often seen as meaningful coincidences that defy logical explanations, suggesting that there is a deeper connection between events, beyond our usual understanding of cause and effect. The concept of a Multiverse, where multiple, perhaps infinite, parallel universes exist, could provide a framework for understanding how such seemingly unlikely events could occur. If these universes occasionally intersect or influence each other, that could explain why synchronicities occur. However, this is speculative and remains a fascinating subject for further exploration in both science and philosophy.”

I want to summarize this for my readers who might be leaning back in their chairs, a little startled, with: “There is so much more.” 😊 But again, in my own words: In moments of cosmic rift, the different versions of the multiverse intersect, leading to very strange and stubborn coincidences, synchronicities. An example: that book falling off the shelf, and it happens to be the perfect book for your problem, is caused by the tear in the Cosmos from the other you who just pulled that book out of the shelf and dropped it. With this blog, I hope to stimulate serious exploration of these ideas.

Rob became inadvertently more concrete, clearly leaning towards the multiverse idea, when I introduced him to the movie “Another Earth” in 2011, which he then watched himself, and from November 8, 2011, jokingly began signing some of his emails with “Bor” instead of “Rob.” (See Lion Hearts V).

The battle

For the writing of this blog, I naturally had to revisit all my previous Lionhearts blogs. There I stumbled upon my own intimate revelations, both about my marriage to my ex and much more about the intimacies between Another Davis Rob, the lions, and myself. I hadn’t forgotten these, but apparently, I had parked them in a far corner of my mind. I must say: this now brings me, in 2024, to a new sense of embarrassment. I’m not going to retrospectively withdraw some of the very explicit confessions; what’s the point with the Internet Archive, and some people have already read them anyway? Perhaps I’ve become more Americanized, more prudish, if you will (not in actions, but in the thought that you shouldn’t lay everything on the table). Also, now being 56 years old, I might be a bit calmer and more cautious. Well, what’s done is done? Or perhaps not, wink wink, in the multiverse worlds and versions? Every disadvantage has its advantage: with the richness of details, it serves as a living and breathing brain on which I can rely solidly as my years begin to count. Perhaps there are also people who appreciate that I was so explicit.
Desperately, I wondered how I could ever continue on Earth without the physical Rob. The answer was: “I can’t.” The answer still is: “I can’t.” Rob was already during my marriage, when he was still physically on Earth, my only beacon of hope. I hadn’t even realized that all those years since 2005, when I virtually met Rob, but this became painfully clear on Ascension Day 2014. Life tries to coax me time and time again, my body cells want to survive, my body whispers escape routes and ideas to me so it can survive itself. The dramatic event with the two Henryk Vogels is one of them (see here, here, and here). The immense sorrow over Rob is still there and is greater than all the tricks human nature wants to play on me. Our love is greater. But life kept clinging to me, and still does.
The past ten years have been inhumanly heavy, especially in terms of loneliness, and no, I’m not exaggerating here. Due to the disruptive effect of my marriage with my ex, I have become unaccustomed to engaging socially and physically, and progress in this area is only happening in micro steps. Sometimes it seems like I don’t even want it anymore. I also struggle quite a bit with my body, especially at night. Although I wrote earlier this year that I had “stopped taking paracetamol,” I must now retract that statement. Yes, I was so proudly abstinent for five months because of nighttime stomach pain, but it turned out that quitting didn’t bring relief. On the contrary, the discomfort in and around my stomach area seemed to worsen. Possibly, the damage or hypersensitivity is simply irreversible. And the annoying pulsating of the vein in my left temple usually stops when I take paracetamol. Overall, it seems that especially my head greatly appreciates the substance.
The ten years between Rob and me were a constant eruption of love, that was the other side. Rob, the skeptic, continued the adventure with me from Another Davis, as best as he could. Certainly, he too has fought a battle. The effort on both sides is immense. I dare to say all this in the blessing that comes with the idea of the quantum entangled couple. After all: we don’t even have to ‘try’ to reach each other, we are already together without visible or invisible lines. Breaking our quantum entanglement would, I think, only be possible if the shared core of love were no longer there. Iopt out on that one, and I hope Rob does too. This was and is a relationship that has gone through all the ebbs and flows over the past ten years.

And time and time again, when I was at my wit’s end, the flame beneath my earthly despair and loneliness began to flicker, encouragements came, and still come: “Hang in there!” Let me give a few examples. I’m completely in love with the new inner crew Rob Nanninga lion “Surprise” with his beautiful soft mane, his attentive and lightly ironic, heavenly eyes. I’m head over heels for all the inner crew Rob lions, and the infatuation strikes again and again. And last March, my mind made a beautiful connection: the lion had literally arrived like a ball, and another word for ball is “Orb.” That word is itself a skeptical wink because “orbs” in photos are often seen by paranormal believers as spirits or energies. Suddenly, the word Rob rolled over to Orb, and then I immediately had a new name tag made for Rob Surprise Lion. My mind then continues to play with the name of the new Rob lion: Surprise Orb, Supreme Orb, Sublime Orb, Superb Orb, Super Orb, Stunning Orb…

Another morale booster this year was when I Googled the name “Roelof Hendrik Nanninga” once again. And Google said, “Pop!” A new discovery once again highlighted the healthy, skeptical, resistance-offering power of the Nanninga force. Not Rob, but likely a relative of his with the exact same name and location in Groningen, popped up. A Dutch resistance hero who had hidden weapons for the Germans, was subsequently arrested and imprisoned by those same Germans, but fortunately lived to tell the tale when he was liberated by the Americans in 1945! Given the age, he could have been his grandfather or a brother of a grandfather. It seems too coincidental that someone with the exact same name and also located in Groningen was not related to Rob. Such new pieces of information, like when I managed to dig up Rob’s media appearances at the Beeld en Geluid institution, provide fresh fuel for my Rob-flame.

Pseudo-skeptical, unbelieving, and disapproving scoffers and deniers came and lingered. I pay no further attention to these individuals, but I still want to mention them once. Nevertheless, our love triumphs. Surprise! We are still standing. After ten years. And as far as I’m concerned, we will always continue to do so.

Multiverse

I recently replaced my iPad Pro, unfortunately just a bit too early for the latest version (secretly, I’m a bit annoyed, perhaps replace it early). After that, I subscribed to an Apple TV subscription again because: free for three months. And as the first thing, after binge-watching the entire Harry Potter series, I randomly clicked on Apple Originals and watched those. And indeed, there, with iron determination, Apple also presented quantum physics and cosmic insights. The Apple Originals 2024 series “Dark Matter” and “Constellation” revolve entirely around this theme, and so do the Apple Originals 2023 series “Crowded Room” and the movie “Ghosted.”

Two screen-photos of the Apple Ghosted movie and I added the cat in the fridge.

Nothing happens by chance, it seems time and time again. That’s precisely what I’ve been preoccupied with since the beginning of the Lion Hearts blogs: trying to determine ‘where’ Rob is now, if he still exists, and how our relationship extends so far across the universe and even beyond the universe. I’ve delved into highlights of quantum physics several times in my Leeuwenharten blogs, such as in Lion Hearts VII, quantum entanglement like with Schrödinger’s cat, the multiverse idea, and the (quantum) entangled pair.

“The idea of a second, twin or Counter-Earth is not the same as the concept of a Parallel or Multiverse world. The two concepts do have in common that they both suggest that strange things are going on in our universe, and that there’s much more than meets the eye. ” Lion Hearts V

“My impression of the existence of “astral”, parallel, multiverse worlds is that together they enable a continuum. One world is attached to the other, and together the worlds form an infinite “DNA” strand, through which people also travel, creating an eternal link of interlocking possibilities. ” Lion Hearts VI

Hot stuff! Just to be clear: I know very little about quantum physics, and the cheese not even vegan, as I’ve been eating some goat cheese occasionally lately (that’s new, I hadn’t done that until around 2023). I’ve been assisted by AI in the following piece of text, and I’m putting it forward not only for you but also for myself. I haven’t fully grasped everything yet. But then again, who has? Hopefully, someone with a sharp quantum physics mind can build on it in a positive way.

Can we continue to exist? Can different parallel worlds coexist, as proposed in the many-worlds interpretation of quantum physics? In this interpretation of quantum mechanics, all possible outcomes of a quantum event become reality, but in separate, parallel universes. This means that there may be versions of us that continue to live in other universes while we may be dead in our own universe. Although life and death are absolute states within a single universe, the multiverse offers a perspective of a kind of continuity of existence. What is the influence of the observer, and is the observer actually the key? In the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum physics, the observer plays a crucial role: the state of a system (the superposition in which something is indeterminate, both dead and alive) is only determined by observation. This reminds me of the process of reading books: as soon as you open a book and continue reading, the characters ‘come to life’ again, in a unique way for each reader. Think also of the classic “Die Unendliche Geschichte,” which introduces this principle in a grand manner: as soon as you open the book, the story comes to life and ‘continues’. Michael Ende says something that I imagine aligns with the role of the observer in quantum physics. He suggests that the book belongs to no one and is different for everyone (see the last image in the gallery). So, the observer determines, in line with the Copenhagen interpretation. Although the many-worlds interpretation is less dependent on the observer for determining outcomes, the observer experiences only one of the many possible outcomes in a specific universe. This concept of the multiverse makes us contemplate the infinite possibilities that may surround our existence.

You could simplify this principle even further to just one single unit: Love. As long as there is Love, the subject of that love is also alive. But I don’t mean this only theoretically, but truly alive and breathing. And because this is a blog, I can simply say this without having to prove it under laboratory conditions. Now that the phrase “laboratory conditions” comes up, I want to revisit what I said earlier about the difficulty of proving the existence of out-of-body experiences, in which I myself did not succeed sufficiently. If indeed a multiverse exists, it could be that you project into the ‘wrong’ multiverse, preventing a conclusive match with the version where you are physically present at that moment. Only an out-of-body experience with clear consciousness in exactly the same multiverse would then have a chance of success. Believe me, I’m not secretly trying to convince skeptics, I’m simply presenting it as a thought, a possibility. But this is not fantasy. Rob is truly present. His influence is felt day and night, as seen in my previous blog Syncblast 2024. I even believe that Rob not only protects me but also my bike, the Trek 7.3 that saw the light of day on Monday, June 3, 2013, and that I have been riding for over 10 years now: the red bike that faithfully accompanies me. Another lucky ten-year anniversary!

Yes, I believe that Rob’s influence extends so far, and much further. The (pseudo)skeptics, like Pepijn van Erp, haven’t dared to challenge me regarding the Leeuwenharten blogs. Oh yes, he considered it (tell me it’s not true, Van Erp), he was already working on it. But they can’t win this battle because love conquers all. Always. Strange things happen in this regard as well, things that make me think that the cosmos and Rob are not exactly gentle when it comes to protecting me, because they do. The stakes seem to be extremely high.

The Davis house

This house where I’ve been living since October 2011 is a laid-back and, as far as I’m concerned, magical-realistic house. As seemingly? easily as my ex walked out the door here in 2017, that’s how attached I am to this house.
In this house lived my housemate Jocelyn. When my ex left, I found myself in an acute financial attention situation. I started looking for housemates, and Jocelyn was the first to walk in here as a candidate through a Facebook advertisement. From the summer of 2017 until the beginning of the pandemic, I had housemates. I immediately liked Jocelyn. She stayed for two years to complete her bachelor’s degree in Psychology at UC Davis. Then she left back to Los Angeles, where her family lives. We didn’t keep in touch. But then there was a surprise here. A snippet from her email, which I received on March 9, 2023: “[…] I always thought you were a cool and interesting person despite us not talking for a while. And over time my appreciation for the experience at the house has grown, as well as an interest for Dutch culture. I made a friend from the Netherlands and we like to share things about each other’s cultures and have even sent gift packages with things like snacks/foods from our countries. (It turns out I’m not the biggest fan of licorice…) In fact, I am making a trip with my brother to Europe later this month, visiting the Netherlands, Belgium, and France for 1 week.” I even received a postcard from the Efteling, where she had been. She didn’t know that this meant something to Rob and me because she hadn’t read my blogs. All of this was such a surprise to me that, as far as I’m concerned, it falls under magical realism. Suddenly, I also knew who I could leave my concrete belongings as well as my digital legacy to, see my previous blog for that. It all fell into place; she has even started learning the Dutch language, she knows me and the house, and she’s also a Leo by zodiac sign. When she left as a housemate, she gave me a small plastic lion. It now sits by a portrait of Rob. Since mid-April 2024, she has been living with the Dutch friend and his parents to explore how the match works. She’s quite a talented artist, as seen in image 1, and in image 2, a photo of her visit to Bataviastad:

When I asked Meta AI to depict Another Davis and described it in just a few sentences, I had to endure a lot of junk results. But suddenly, a stroke of luck appeared, as almost always happens with me. A house that seems to have been sawed in half, with a small part on the left to refute that idea. First, a “Huw” flashed through my mind, and then a “Hey!”. I live in the right half of a teal (blue-green) colored, wooden duplex house with a slightly sloping roof, as seen from the street. But I absolutely didn’t ask Meta AI for this! The next day, I saw even more striking details in this coincidence: the exact color of my current house, the lawn as I have it in my front yard, even the coniferous trees, like the coniferous tree in my front yard, were correctly placed in the background in the AI image. This AI representation came with complete magical realism straight from the cosmos to me. And I can assure you, AI isn’t there yet, they can’t read minds if you describe your desired house in five sentences. I hadn’t used the term “duplex house,” only “house.” But that’s how it is: Rob also lives in this house, in the ‘counterpart’, which would make this house one (and not the duplex part of my nice earthly neighbors Tamera and Syed). The magical realism between Rob and me was already there with our addresses in the Netherlands: Rob lived at Westerkade 20 in Groningen and I at Weststraat 20 in Scheveningen.

The magical-realistic Earth

I would like to conclude this blog with a vision of all the worlds that exist. It will undoubtedly come across as science fiction, but who knows, perhaps Rob and I are close to the fire. I believe that human civilization on Earth has various possible futures, in what I call the ‘multiverses.’ I now put quotation marks around the word ‘future’ because, given the above, time is not linear but rather an infinite series, a ‘ball,’ of possibilities. One possibility is that humanity will completely destroy itself, with wars already happening but on a global scale and even more devastating. The other possibility, which I hope for and consider equally likely, is that humanity will become wiser and make every effort to save what can be saved. In that case, I predict a world imbued with magical realism, where ‘synchronicities’ play an increasingly significant role, and wondrous events are observed worldwide through the perception rifts in the cosmos, which are also demonstrable to science. In my expectation, these perception rifts will become larger and more numerous, thinning the veils between the multiverse worlds and beckoning a unity of worlds. The progress in studying the strange leaps of quantum physics and the growing interest in it, in my opinion, send a clear signal in that direction.

Courtesy Eline Hulspas. Lightly edited by me

Although I’m not a fan of repetition, I’m going to repeat this song that I already shared and discussed in “The White Raven“. The emphasis here is on the parts in bold:

When the desert sun has passed horizon's final light
And darkness takes it's place...
We will pause to take our rest.
Sharing songs of love,
Tales of tragedy.

The souls of heaven
Are stars at night.
They will guide us on our way,
Until we meet again
Another day.

When a poet sings the song and all are hypnotized,
Enchanted by the sound...
We will mark the time as one,
Tandem in the sun.
The rhythm of a hymn.

The souls of heaven
Are stars at night.
They will guide us on our way,
Until we meet again
Another day.
When the dawn has come
Sing the song,
All day long.

We will move as one,
Bear the load
On the road.

The souls of heaven
Turn to stars
Every single night
All across the sky...
They shine.


Lion Hearts previous parts

Part I – Rob Nanninga – Who took (t)his picture?
Who took (t)his picture?
Drawings I made
Who took (t)his picture, continued
Question answered
More photos of Rob Nanninga
Footnotes
Part II – Lion, Where Are You?
Cuddly lions
Devastated even before I officially knew
Looking for Rob after he passed away
The other end of the universe
Finding Rob
Footnotes
Part III – Rob Nanninga, The Lion
How we met
The Rob-Constantia connection
The fallout and Rob’s passing
Astral Wanderwege
Astral cycling
Astral Blitz
Magical Realism
Astral Wanderwege, continued
The astral Peter R. de Vries
Finding Rob, recap
Astral Wanderwege, continued
The magic (intermediate) final
“Stenny” & “Parameter”, A FOK Story In 9 Images
Footnotes
Part IV – Lion Hearts
Intro
Plush lions
The amazing Whiskers
Plush lions continued
Turning point
The jealous lion
The Rob Nanninga lion quad
Caring for the lions
Cycling and seeing Rob
Rob in my dreams, role-play
Rob’s photo and the drawing I made
Magical realism, the lion ring of God
Rob’s music and Darkwood
Rob in my out-of-body and related experiences
Rob’s healing influence
Lion hearts
Stats and “raps”
Meanwhile
Rob Nanninga lion art in collaboration with Neural Painter
Footnotes
Part V – The Roar
Part I: The Roar
Part II: Roaring Events
Raptures: Orgasmic Outbursts
Out-of-body and dream related events
The wish-you-were-here-song
The enclosing
The sudden swoop
Koningsdag
Rob emerging
Air-jumping Lions
Moving in with Rob
Pepijn
Rob in the air
The not-vegan, whistle-lollipop
Erect tail
Getting through
The shepherds
Striking things named separately
Funny positions
Music and love songs
Seeking Vice versa
Dense shaped
Healing effect
Getting better all the time
Kissing skills
Astral eroticism
Rob traveling to me!
Footnotes
Part VI – Steppin’ Out With My Baby 🕺
Part I: “Steppin’ Out With My Baby, Can’t Go Wrong Cause I’m In Right”
Another Davis
Let’s get physical
On the crook side
Part II: Robs en Constantia’s Steppin’ Outs
Raptures
OBEs and related experiences
Footnotes
Part VII – Quantum Entanglement
The magic-realistic Live Photo in Davis-Ivy Town
Quantum Entanglement
Snert particles!
New media files!
Gallery Space and Quantum Entanglement
Footnotes
Part VIII – Ascension
(2019-)2020
Gym blues
Plans for the Netherlands
Magical Realism continues
Robbert and Stan
Robbert
Stan and Alan
Edibles
The Brakes
Future
Rob Nanninga quotes
Gallery 2020
Footnotes
Part IX – Wanderjahre (Journeyman years)
2021
Lion 10!
Gallery
Aviator in town,
A tribute to the Night Witches, “Unknown Soldier” and to Darkwood:
Family, mother
Miracles and other wonders
Gallery continued

Disclaimer: The following can be seen as a quest and thus also as an encouragement and stimulus for others to conduct similar research into understanding our reality, which, I dare say, is infinitely more complex and deeper than it appears to the human eye. My blog is therefore not intended as the bearer of a new dogma.

January 28, 2022. Sophie, a nickname, full name known to me, reports via social media. She says that Rob Nanninga appeared in a dream of hers, but that this was several years ago and that she does not know why she is bringing it up now.

But I can relate. You can read in the blogs since the pandemic and now also the Russia war that everything in my life has turned upside down, including in my relationship life. The strange Darkwood and Henryk story that is still going on, that is to say: the Henryk story is still in full development. It has now been almost 8 years since Rob hung his earthly coat on the coat rack on, or just before, Ascension Day. The rough 2020-2022 years are creating a deep existential momentum for me and yes, the timing is right. I put the relevant sentences as one story in a row: (only minor edits in terms of language)

Hi Constantia; 1 time Rob Nanninga appeared in my dream. He looked very chill with a very ugly (ahem) brown turtleneck sweater. In a doorway.
I was anxious. I don’t want anything to do with men. But he stood there very quietly. He kind of reassured me. He said I just stand here. I wanted to tell you sooner but afraid you thought it was weird. Or found it annoying. Been through nasty things with men but this was okay.

[When asked how she knows him>] Through you, through Skepsis. But never contacted. I’m from 1989 so I can’t. I used to be a 🙄 Robert ten Broeke supporter. The only thing I remember;
He stood casually in the doorway. The door frame was old pink with a kind of wave in it and the wall was stark white. He told me not to be afraid. I felt it was okay. A kind of peace. I recognized him later and asked if he was your husband and he agreed. Then I was absolutely sure I had nothing to fear. He said it was good that you exposed everything about Robbert and Stan. At that time I followed your blog about those 2 and everything around it. There was a point where I got worried when they did something weird with your address. I don’t know when or what exactly. Haha I had to chuckle. He seemed a little shy. And a kind of mischievous smile. When he said he was your husband.

[asked for clarification of “mischievous”]
No mischievous is a big word. I have a diagnosed mild form of autism. Fortunately my intelligence is normal according to the psychologist, but I was born 3 months premature and find it really difficult to describe facial expressions. Is there one step less than really mischievous? I’ll sit down for it tomorrow if I can. (drawing)

[I had asked for a drawing of the dream situation, and I was very excited very quickly because I now knew what she meant by that look, namely Rob’s mildly ironic, inquiring look].

Phew, I’m trying to start at the beginning. Bullied from my 6th year and experienced 1 nasty abuse experience. I froze completely and couldn’t say a word to the police either. The teddy bear was my best friend. I also experienced a lot of abuse around my 13th to 15th (that was an acquaintance of mine).
Then made “friends” but they were supposedly very spiritual, different “rituals” done with massages, egg ritual. And then I believed in Robbert; paid damn good money for his book. And when all that came to light, I thought: I will never fall for it again. Oh yes from my 13th to 15th; so that was in Groningen.

I had asked Sophie for a drawing of the situation in the dream and to my surprise she accepted it straight away and not long after, she came up with a charming figure drawing that even immediately reminded me of Rob’s typical ‘leaning posture’. This is how I got to know him after he passed on. I often see him in my mind’s eye, leaning against a tree when I’m cycling for example, with the sweet smile and the inquisitive and slightly ironic look in his eyes. Sophie thought the word “ironic” was perfect when I described it to her after her remark about “mischievous look”, it was exactly that, according to her, mildly ironic and inquisitive, very friendly. But Sophie didn’t get any further than this drawing rudimental, and she herself came up with the idea to ask her good, and since childhood, friend Jessica, and she wanted to, but she turned out to be so busy that the load became too great. Jessica then came up with the idea that her sister, also very gifted artistically (it was not clear, just this was said) Monique would do it. And sure enough, Monique wanted to try it. I name the string of developments, because this chain will show 100% that none of this can be staged (for the unbelieving and suspicious skeptics): so Jessica came up with the idea to ask Monique.

For me Jessica and Monique were just names, there was no surname yet, their surname Van Deursen came later in April 2022, and the “Van Deursen” appealed to me to ‘Brabant (in terms of that typical cozy Dutch surname) feelings’, after all I lived there myself for a long time and I was also born there, but I had absolutely no idea of the two ladies, I honestly thought that they were ‘just’ two average ladies – yes, shame on me – and Sophie didn’t say anything about it either.

Sophie wanted to keep everything as pure as possible and gave Monique only two pictures of Rob and briefly sketched what she had seen in the dream, the clothes etc.

The fact that I immediately had a bullseye feeling with Sophie herself was only due to the few opening sentences that Sophie needed to do this, completely unintentionally on her side, because I think these kinds of details really go too far for someone who has not dealt with Rob in depth. She was talking about an ugly brown cable knit sweater, and I instantly recognized Rob’s demeanor in this choice of clothing. Rob’s ‘pleasantly bourgeois’ I mentioned earlier in Lion Hearts. Rob who does not opt ​​for a flashy appearance, but for the unimaginative, ‘bourgeois’ brown cable sweater. And besides that, a lot of bells started to ring when Sophie said that Rob had said: “I’ll just stand here”. This is in fact Rob, as I got to know him before and after he passed on (yes, bear with me). What was going on? Sophie was pulled into the bushes by a guy as a six-year-old girl and you can fill in the rest yourself. And it didn’t stop there, because even in her teenage years more sexual abuse happened. In short: Sophie is not, and for all the reasons in the world, a lady who trusts men well. Rob must have seen all of that, and his line of, “I’ll just stand here.”, is 100% what Rob would do and say if this situation had been on Earth. Correct me when I’m wrong, Rob connoisseurs.

I waited patiently and sure enough, some near-finished copies of Rob’s drawing already arrived. I was moved, that anyway, yes, this had been Rob! Through whatever cosmic language and road, Rob appeared. Sophie is important for other things anyway, see the Darkwood blog, and she has the characteristic of both Rob and me in common: she is ‘slow’, sometimes notices things late. Because she dropped another hefty bomb, similar to the one with the Darkwood blog back then, which immediately made it clear to me that I definitely had to write a blog about my bad Darkwood experiences.

The bomb that fell was as follows: [Sophie continued via social media, April 14, 2022:]

https://nl.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cesair [bold by me]
I’ll ask her about her name, I’ll call her soon. Not sure if she’s open to it.
The artist is in a Pagan folk band.
It never really hit me, but suddenly the penny dropped. Rob Nanninga had something to do with that too, right?
I thought oooh yes somehow everything has to be like this.

Again I went into a deep shock, this time a euphoric one. Sophie, who is not the Sophie of the band Cesair by the way, also mentioned a little later that she herself has nothing (yet?) with this music genre, but all Rob’s close ones will recognize this: yes, Folk, Rob’s life-size and lifelong passion next to Skepsis. Rob was drawn by… Monique van Deursen, active as lead singer in one of the largest and most famous folk bands in the Netherlands, also active and successful across the border, the band Cesair. Only now, mid-April 2022, did I find out, only now did I start googling. And Sophie really hadn’t realized this, the enormity of this, until she brought it to me. Both Jessica and Monique van Deursen are, just like Sophie, very intelligent, gifted and beautiful women, and above all: very pure, yes, I just say it plainly, I can see that with my life experience of now 54 years. The shock deepened even further, because Cesair had also just released a new song, “Aux Pieds Nus“, on October 8, 2021, and that song is about… loss of a loved one through death, but also the reach over death to this beloved. And on their Events page I saw that they are registered for an event similar to the one that could be for the impure Darkwood guys, the “Wave-Gothic-Treffen” in Germany. But Cesair ís good, sweet, pure, the Pagan Folk that Rob can and would support with all the knowledge of now, and not the Darkwood guys. Just to be clear, I don’t know if Rob Nanninga knew Cesair, I can’t find it in his music lists, I didn’t know Cesair, and I don’t know Jessica and Monique either. I could cry as I write this and tears are coming again. Yes, I’m not ashamed of that.

Studio Portrait by Mayumi Acosta Photography

* Wanderjahre: Journeyman years, after successfully completing the training, a time to go out into the world and gain life experience. Then follows the Master test.

Contents

2021
Lion 10!
Gallery
Aviator in town,
A tribute to the Night Witches, “Unknown Soldier” and to Darkwood:
Family, mother
Miracles and other wonders
Gallery continued

2021


It has been seven years since the day of Rob Nanninga’s passing. Extremely good, transformative Lion Hearts times followed, and my another-Davis-relationship with Rob Nanninga still burns unabated.

Living without roommates since the start of the pandemic, I remained in one of the two small rooms until the small space started to creep up on me and in March 2021, I moved into the large Master bedroom with a new bed and more space … for a tenth inner crew Rob Nanninga lion!

Lion 10

The magical number 10 arrived on March 30, 2021.

“Number” 10 has a very well-filled, soothing, treasure-like chest. The random picker’s choice from preselected names was immediately okayed by the Cosmos with another magic somersault in complete synchronicity:

Aviator in town! Darkwood and Henryk Vogel

Darkwood came highly recommended to me by Rob Nanninga, and Rob even suggested to start a German Darkwood Wikipedia sub, because he knew I am a Germanist. I felt too insecure at the time, so I didn’t. I did start the Darkwood Twitter account Notwendfeuer in February 2021. Vogel knows about it, I am not sure Henryk does though ( just kidding).

Some very striking events occurred from November 2020 up till now. At the end of November 2020, I sent Henryk of Darkwood an email again for the first time since 2014.
In 2014, I had this brief, warm email exchange with Henryk Vogel of Darkwood about the lyrics of “Fliegergedicht” because they were wanted for Rob Nanninga’s In Memoriam booklet. After that, events surrounding Rob’s passing completely absorbed me and culminated in the divorce of my now ex. A strange, almost Goethesk, Wanderweg (winding road) began.

Omitting all the details, I thought I had made contact with Henryk Vogel of Darkwood through LinkedIn too, and a considerable misunderstanding rolled out thereof from December 2020 to February 2021. The wandering astray in a true dark wood can in my opinion be linked to the fact that creative minds like mine have a tendency to exaltation and strong susceptibility to cosmic interventions creating deep, entangled-souls, events.

The Henryk Vogel of Dresden I was talking to, via LinkedIn at first, was not the Henryk Vogel of Darkwood, also living in Dresden! This very witty, talented, civilized, warm-hearted other Henryk Vogel is about the same age as Henryk of Darkwood, and in my opinion could be his twin brother.
The other Henryk Vogel and I had and still have a very agreeable, far-distance communication, but in February 2021 things to me felt increasingly tense, because I didn’t know if he was indeed Henryk of Darkwood and I didn’t dare ask him for a while. That was surely a lesson to be learned!

The case for afterlife gained momentum when Rob Nanninga alerted me about the mixup. A lamp bulb on a long wire in my night cabinet, nowhere within my arm’s reach, crashed out of the blue at a crucial communication point with the other Henryk Vogel, shattering on the ground with the loud bang of many glass shards. I always felt that Darkwood‘s song “Dream of Flowers” describes Rob’s passing. The song mentions “broken glass“. Rob was trying to get my attention: “This is not Darkwood‘s Henryk Vogel!” I believe Rob and I are on the same page about Henryk Vogel of Darkwood being our soulmate. But there is much more, I believe, to the other Henryk Vogel too!

Commemorative plaque at the birthplace of Melli Beese in Dresden-Laubegast. The inscription reads “Birthplace of the first German female airplane pilot.” (Text Wikipedia)

When I finally dared to ask: “Are you Henryk of Darkwood?”, I already feared what the answer would be. Consequently, I again turned to Henryk of Darkwood in February 2021, because I still felt I needed to reach out to Rob’s and my soulmate.

The Neofolk Darkwood band often sings about War and Peace, about aviators and soldiers, and the album “Schicksalsfahrt” proudly sings the historic aviator theme. Aviator signs were already silently entering Lion Hearts, long before I reconnected with Henryk Vogel of Darkwood. Whiskers, Lion, created by the Leonard Cheshire Cornwall Foundation, after the famous British, Second World War aviator and bomber pilot Leonard Cheshire. had already, by mystical, kindred souls gathering, entered the Rob Nanninga Lions Pride in 2016.

As I grew even more inspired by the atmospheric Darkwood Lagerfeuer-songs,

Where it all started

I ordered their pilot shirt and army bag, and the idea of a Darkwood-themed photoshoot sparked to life. Out of the blue, I thought: I will be a female, Russian, Second World War bomber pilot, not realizing those, female Russian bomber pilots, actually existed and even were exclusively Russian. Nazi Germans for example were against any female involvement in the war, as they thought of women only as upgraded incubators.
Having read many books about the Second Word War already, I can’t remember coming across the Russian Nachthexen. I occasionally get the question if I am Russian, hence the idea of “Russian”. I started reading books about British and Russian WWII bomber pilots and became intrigued.
The Nachthexen, mostly still girls and young women (aged 17-22), flying PO2s, old training Polikarpov Po-2 biplanes, with navigation tools both in the front and in the back of the airplane, were looked upon with fear by Nazi-Germans because they, against all odds in a male dominated society, became crucial Soviet assets to winning World War Two. With the Messerschmitts, the Germans had superior Krieg (war) utilities, so the Russians had to become creative.

Messerschmitt Bf 109

The PO2s were used at night, with rather primitively attached bombs, no more than two bombs for each flight, so the Night Witches had to return base many times every night to reload. In this way, the daring women were disturbing and harassing the Nazis in their much needed night rest.

They flew at very low heights, almost touching the German barracks with their wingtips, sometimes even with the engines switched off for the surprise effect, and, as thieves in the night, dropping bombs on the unsuspecting Germans.

The WWII female Russian bomber pilot shoot flame was also kindled by Rob Nanninga’s love for roleplaying, which I had discovered after his passing in the “astral realms”. A lifelong seasoned “astral” traveler myself, I feel I have both overlapping Night Witches character traits ánd nightly experiences.

Slightly related, nice

A tribute to the Night Witches, “Unknown Soldier” and to Darkwood

Click and swipe:

Family, mother

My sister Francine will be publishing a book this Fall about my mother Marie Thérèse (6-6-1931 – 7-8-2014) in and after the Second World War.

My mother Marie Thérèse Postmes and my father Joris Oomen in the post-war years

Thus opens another pathway to the Second World War! Always so very close to my mom, I realized something was off that day that I had been talking to her. One day, she burst into tears, talking to me about her brothers and the catholic church in the Second World War. She lived in Maastricht in that time. While crying bitter tears, she managed to bring out, “They bullied me, Stan. They treated me badly. I’ve had a bad life.” I tried to wring out more, to no avail, she shut down, to never open up again. My mother Thérèse, the living and breathing conscienceless of social desirability, chose to keep all her demons, of which we knew nothing, to herself. Consequently, I applaud any factual based effort that will expose my mother’s demons and tormentors.

Miracles and other wonders

Since March 1, 2020, I lost about 50 lbs (about 22 kilos) caused by the use of Cannabinoid’s thc / cbs / cbd. My appetite fell back greatly. I stopped taking the pain killer Paracetamol (Acetaminophen) on a daily basis since February 2021. It was one of the good suggestions of Henryk Vogel not of Darkwood. My lungs have been extremely peaceful ever since, my heart and stomach seem less calm.

As mentioned earlier on, that it would take a financial miracle to keep me afloat, some small miracles did already happen. I was entitled to this small pension part of my ex, that I, after the divorce in April 2018, had successfully pursued for over a year of dragging-along, official paper milling with UC Davis (ex’s employer), and when I finally got it, I bought some BTC (bitcoin), right before the bitcoin boom in 2020. A friend gave me some more in 2021. In this way, I am still able to afford the house, but I’d rather not think about the huge sums of money evaporating every month. The future remains uncertain.

Gallery continued

And here some more, some a bit older photos of the year past.

The Lion hearts blogs are long blogs, especially Part IV and Part V are sturdy bites (each good for around 16,000 words), and together they form one whole. That is why I have merged part I-VIII into one .pdf file. Admittedly, it is the avant-garde of a real publishers edition, but I still present you with satisfaction the blog book:

> Lion Hearts-ByConstantiaOomen (click for .pdf download) <

If something is unclear during viewing or reading, you can always fall back on the online version, for example for clicking links and viewing images.

Online Lion Hearts (click)

Rob Nanninga’s last address in The Netherlands: Westerkade 20. Constantia Oomen’s last address in The Netherlands: Weststraat 20. 20+20 2020 Publication date 5-20-2020, in the Netherlands + 9h: 5-21-2020 (Ascension Day 2020)

Contents

(2019-)2020
Gym blues
Plans for the Netherlands
Magical Realism continues
Robbert and Stan
Robbert
Stan and Alan
Edibles
The Brakes
Future
Rob Nanninga quotes
Gallery 2020
Footnotes

(2019-)2020

A year that leaves no stone unturned! To change our life. This planet’s life? To change my life? Nature-endorsed! Or so it seems. The odds are turning in a dramatic way. A pandemic. And no clairvoyant (if they exist) predicted that. This is Lion Hearts VIII with mostly a daily-life update, so not so much about dreams and out-of-body experiences.

I am not in contact with my ex at the moment. I did jump out of an airplane with him on June 13, 20191

My unemployment status is unchanged. The impact of the pandemic was pointedly illustrated by the fact that my neighbors-for-years on one side, including their dog and cat, moved away from one day to the next. The house has been empty since. I haven’t asked them, but I am pretty sure they got affected by the pandemic. My living situation has also come under pressure because of the pandemic, because both roommates leave early and I have to look for new roommates. The rents are sky high here and if I fail to find roommates in time, I will not be able to continue living in this house.

My fingertip skin-cracks problems haven’t been resolved yet, and the ripples in my nails are still playing a an ebb and flow tide game.

I still cycle a lot, and I still miss the physical Rob every day. But he is there, he speaks the language of love through the sweetest and most handsome lions. Strange as it may sound, through these lions, I am even able to feel the warmth of his physical body. Every day, I make sure the lions stay in perfect shape. Despite the enormous “distance”, we still live together and I see him especially while cycling: how he stands in * our * kitchen, with his homely apron tied. Cooking for us. At night through the lions I feel his enormous warmth, support, love and eroticism. The extreme number of orgasmic eruptions is comparable to last year. This is paramount beyond words, More-Than-Heaven descended to me on Earth!

On October 26, 2019, I met Dutch Melanie who’s working  for the vegan cheesery and buttery Miyoko’s at the Kombucha tap of the Davis Food Co-Op. After one random greeting at the Kombucha tap, Melanie immediately noticed that I was Dutch, and said she was too. She lives in Petaluma. Twice I drove up to Rohnert Park, which is nearby Petaluma, and on one occasion met up with a group of Dutch people who meet once a month, at the invitation of Melanie’s.

It had been a long time since I drove further away by car since the divorce. Unfortunately, I have become less mobile in terms of driving longer distances. I just miss Rob as a partner and don’t see the fun of traveling on my own, with nobody to share the travel excitement with.

Gym blues

Due to some human complication at GetFit, Davis, I canceled my subscription. I scratched the surface of this earlier-on.2 My Get-Fit Davis membership was ending in January 2020, but I already stopped going in December 2019. I signed a monthly contract with In-Shape, Woodland in December 2019. Although they do have a great modern gym and a lovely massage chair, something happened there that made me realize that this was not a second home to me, like GetFit Davis was. Apparently the chickens had not come home to roost yet. So I canceled my subscription again. Then I decided the UC Davis, ARC gym might be my best shot, but by then, the pandemic had already started, and I realized this was a good chance to unwind myself and just give it some time. Not so much later, all gyms in California were mandatory closed. Again, I had walked faster than time, a phenomenon not new to me, so by then there wasn’t even a choice anymore. I’ve been thinking about returning to GetFit, Davis in the future, but considering this human complication, it’s very fraught. I am not sure K will be ecstatic to see me again. To be real, I have no clue what K is or is not thinking about me, but there was something big going on, of that much I am sure. Maybe go to the “Noah”‘s ARC in due time?

Plans for the Netherlands

This year I had made more concrete plans to visit the Netherlands, my family and my father, and meet with some virtual friends for the first time: Sjaan and a (virtual also) friend in Amsterdam, too, she invited me to stay over at her house.

Sjaan is someone I got to know through the Robbert van den Broeke and Stan affair. This Robbert van den Broeke-Genverbrander story has always been a lateral but important thread in the Lion Hearts blogs. I have known her for almost five years now. She sent me an email to offer some moral backup in this Van den Broeke case, and that’s how we started our shared path. Sjaan is a sweetheart, always thinking about other people first. She lovingly cared for her partner when he fell ill until the very end. But she’s not only sweet and fuzzy, she has a razor-sharp, alert mind and, like me, can’t stand hypocrisy and deception. Countless times she technically assisted me in researching the photos and videos of Robbert van den Broeke, which she runs through metadata programs with stunning results, because they always show he’s (still) faking it. Without any exaggeration, she is as good as a professional detective and would, in my opinion, do an excellent job as a police detective. For the past five years she has continuously supported me, both professionally and personally. What I find most exceptional about her is her incredibly flexible mind, she is able to adapt like a chameleon, with a thousand and one beautiful and pure colors, forever young!

Also very important part of the trip would be to visit Rob’s former house on the Westerkade 20 in Groningen, which I have never seen in real life. I am sure, if it comes to this, something very special will happen. 🌟 And then another goal in Groningen: the Mercuriusstraat 1 in Paddenpoel, where I lived for five years in my youth. And I always long back for the Dutch Fairytale Theme Park the Efteling. This visit would be the very first since my emigration in 2011! I already bought an expensive travel bag that would pass the hand luggage system for the purpose of bringing one of Rob multiple lions with me. I don’t want to lose sight of the lion nor do I want to create the chance that the airline will lose my luggage.

However, the pandemic intervened. The question now is: when and if I will ever return to the Netherlands? Sometimes it seems to me like I have already died like Rob, in this emigration situation in paradise California, where you can check out, but never leave?. Perhaps I am not supposed to return?

Magical Realism continues

Thanks to a heads-up from the Dutch Beeld en Geluid Media Archive on August 30, 2019, I was able to get hold of one more video with Rob Nanninga in it on September 5, 2019. Kudos again to this amazing Institute! Though the footage didn’t bring a real new Rob image, it did bring footage of his study that has become very dear to me, because it reveals so much about Rob Nanninga’s student-like lifestyle, which is so very similar to mine. The more I extract from the wheels of time, the more it is confirmed that I am right about Rob and me and the thousand and one things that forge us together.

On Tuesday March 10, 2020 I was cycling again and I passed through Winters. And on Tuesdays there always is, come rain or shine, or even wildfires,3, imperturbable, not changed by any ripple of the world’s events, the Oldie Cars Show. I fancied two oldies in Rob’s colors, see the photos in the gallery below. Rob always had a preference for the color turquoise or blue (but more turquoise-ish), just think of the old Skepsis website, designed by Rob. And don’t forget his blue jackets and shirts! I thought to myself: Yes, these are really Rob Nanninga’s cars! Later on, well on my way back on the Winters Road, I was cycling, lost in thought, when, of all the oldies in all the towns in all the world, only(you have to take my word for it) these two turquoise oldies passed me by, one after the other. I took it as a magic wave from Rob, and in my mind I saw us riding in them, our hair in the wind through the open windows, under a very happy sun. This is just one example of the happy, worlds-coming-together events I experience with Rob.

It was only in December 2019, after having lived on this address for already over eight years, I realized I am even living under the roof of Rob’s colors. Admitted, it’s  a common combination color in Davis and surrounding areas, but it certainly isn’t the only one, and still, I ended up here, right?, where these colors prevail.

Robbert, Stan and Alan

This part is published separately too on my Parameter WordPress. If you wonder why this extensive piece also appears here: this is an important part of my life and it really has an impact. Moreover, it has a very direct overlap with Rob Nanninga since he was and is also working on this, if it is true that there is afterlife. Also, I get the impression that Rob is helping me in the "background", that he is forcing the gentlemen to show their cards.

As I already mentioned earlier on in this blog, it’s never that far to Robbert and Stan, and his husband, Alan, as they are intertwined in this story.4 I have been involved in this case for fifteen years now, an incredibly long time. There are a few notable developments.

Robbert

The first one is that I finally have blocked Robbert van den Broeke from sending emails to me. His official acquittal in the threat case for which he was arrested, allegedly for lack of evidence, in October 20185 was no reason for Van den Broeke to choose a scold and threat-free path, and he just continued with his hate emails.

I know that Rob Nanninga had already given up on the “Genverbrander” case by 2012, now that Robbert had been definitively exposed as a con artist and it had also been demonstrated that Van den Broeke conducted online diatribes for which even the dogs would turn up their nose, but I kept it up much longer. For many years I remained curious about what Mr. Van den Broeke had to say to me and allowed his emails, admittedly only through a filter directly in a separate folder. But for some time already, it has been perfectly clear to almost everyone, except to his most loyal fans, that Robbert is a lost cause and that there’s not much honor left in investing energy in researching his actions. He got stuck and all he has been doing for a long time is endlessly repeating everything he once said and did, including his fraud tricks with fake spirit and “alien” photos, all his “loving” messages to his fans and all his hatred towards me and the skeptics in general.

Nowadays, he’s even going with mainstream conspiracy quacks, for example, about the link between 5G and Corona Virus. He did remove one crucial conspiracy clip about this later-on.6 These conspiracy theories are by no means innocent, as believers broker them in everyday life and, for instance, are no longer willing to get vaccinations because they think the government secretly implants chips or they are deliberately poisoned with mercury. Some people even torch 5G masts. Van den Broeke has been publishing many YouTube clips the last year, addressing all kinds of “spiritual” subjects, even addressing me a couple of times.7 It does seem quite innocuous, this new trend of endless preaching videos. I would prefer them any time over his ghost / alien photos and videos deception. Unfortunately, he still does those too, including auto-mutilations on his forehead that he claims are alien and christ signs. I must say he has built up a quite large motley collection of “spiritual” subjects and hence his interest in all these topics seems genuine. Still, in my opinion, there is not much reason left to invest a lot of time and energy in him.

Robbert sent me a whole bunch of hate clips and emails again, a part is in the Google Drive. There’s one Van den Broeke activity I do want to mention. Still working with Johny Webb, yes, the man from the octopus, Van den Broeke published a “channeling” with Adolf Hitler. However, the accompanying text about it and the clip were posted on Webb’s Facebook and YouTube channel. I tweeted about it and then someone reported Webb to Facebook (it wasn’t me). Shortly after, Webb’s facebook went completely black. The clip is still there, but I uploaded a copy in Google Drive just in case:

Fall 2019, I expressed the idea on Twitter to turn the Robbert van den Broeke blogs into a book and I had indeed already worked on it several times (that has come to a standstill). Obviously, this idea was immediately picked up by Van den Broeke and I got his hate emails about that too. Also Stan emailed about it a few times.

I suddenly couldn’t digest Van den Broeke’s emails anymore. After another hateful email from Robbert on December 14, 2019 I decided to block him completely. Every time Robbert e-mails me now, his email is instantly deleted and Gmail sends an automated message that he has been blocked and why. Since then, not one single email from him has popped up ever again and I have no idea if he sent them. I am very happy with this decision!

Stan and Alan

Stan Pluijmen is another matter. Stan never seemed hateful in the emails he signed with his own name. It’s a long story, and I don’t feel like repeating everything here. In short, I did not block Stan. I always hoped he would come around, detach himself from Robbert and would no longer participate in their shared lying and cheating games. But Stan has been bouncing like a yo-yo. Stan increasingly emailed me messages that he had changed and in which he admitted to (some) deception by and with Robbert van den Broeke. According to Stan, there is this part to Robbert that’s really “psychic” though. Anyway, Stan and Robbert are no longer a cheating duo together. At least, I see no signs that they still are. Stan even seemed burdened about the past, because he knows better than anyone how much hatred I received through Robbert and through his own, questionable to say the least, network. He even started offering me financial “compensation” in BTC, but I only wanted official compensation, through a notary. For literally years he kept on pushing me to take his money, through email, this started with him offering me money if I deleted the blogs on Parameter, see previous blogs on my Parameter WordPress.8

Stan seemed quite desperate about the existence of my Parameter blogs, he approached it differently too and tried to lure me into a “deal” that if he/they were able to “channel” the code word I would think up for myself and make that official by entrusting somebody with it, I would remove all my blogs. But I didn’t take the bite.

In 2020, for a reason I don’t know, he upped his BTC effort considerably, he said/says it was/is because he likes and loves me, and wants to help me. I did kind of become curious (again) if he was just saying things (again), and posted my BTC wallet address publicly on my Genverbrander10 Twitter account.

That wasn’t the first time I did that though, I did that in 2018 too. I discovered bitcoin in 2017 when I was trying to order my allergy medicine Ebas from a foreign country, because it’s not available in the United States and they asked for bitcoin or wire payment. Wire payments are expensive here, so I thought to give bitcoin a shot, and with BTC payment, they offered a standard 10% discount. It was all very new to me, and on one day I even posted my bitcoin wallet address on my Twitter account ConstantiaUSA. I tried to find the specific tweet, but I guess I deleted it. I only recently (April 2020) learned that you can indeed publish your BTC wallet address safely after you properly secure your BTC wallet. Though I did that in reverse order, nothing happened. I guess I hoped some magic pigeon would deposit BTC in my wallet. This all must have been mid 2018.

In my Parameter blog I already mentioned the fact that I on impulse and more or less jokingly asked Stan for 1.5 million in 2018, because only then would I feel compensated for all their nuisance and remove my blogs. The underlying idea was that with such a fortune that I could start living very differently, and that I could actually see this as a serious enough compensation and move on.

I didn’t email Stan about it, in fact, I didn’t email him at all, everything went through Twitter.

https://twitter.com/Genverbrander10/status/1012786915450339334?s=20

But in 2020, things were different. I suddenly received a bitcoin amount deposited on April 8, 2020. Stan had made a deposit! And the next day, after some tweets from me that I was willing to receive Stan’s compensation as an official gift, two more “donations” came, bigger ones, not a fortune, but significant. Well, in total it was about half a bitcoin. It was worth about euro 3200 at the time Stan deposited it. For connoisseurs: of cryptocurrency, this could be literally nothing or it could be quite something, in the future.

I see it as Stan’s free-will compensation that still is on the symbolic side. His compensation doesn’t come close to the real disturbance I had. My critical attention to this case – I literally spent thousands of hours – was indeed my own free choice and everything I did was public. In my opinion, I always stuck to the facts and kept my criticism fair and decent. But it was no choice of mine to be stalked for so many years: 2012-2019. I received hundreds of hate and death threats from a whole bunch of different mailboxes and names, both known and unknown to me, with photos of beheaded, run over and battered (dead) bodies, scolding videos, I was hacked and even threatened with hitmen.9

I can’t be sure where Stan got his money, in emails he says he got it from tricking online casinos. Stan Pluijmen claims he’s a modern Robin Hood, stealing from the rich and giving it to the poor.

On April 25, 2020, I decided to listen to exactly two years of unopened audios of Stan, a rollercoaster of several hours in the afternoon and evening. Since April 2018, I wasn’t listening anymore, because I got angry with Stan, again, since through yet another unsolicited email, he “offered” to ask “medium” Robbert van den Broeke for my Google drive password. As you can understand, I don’t believe in Van den Broeke’s “medium” password reading skills, I do kind of believe in Stan’s or .?.’s hacking skills, so that pissed me off. I really hadn’t been listening secretly, as Stan suggested in many of these audios, he even stated in his audios he was willing to bet a lot of money (did you say one million, Stan?:)

on the (not existing) “fact” I was still listening, So, now Stan is owing me even more. 😉
Not listening for two years and then all of two years at once, in one day, really turned out to be a golden shot. So instead of getting everything in pieces, I now got everything at once, which gave me a much better overview and the distance created in the time dimension was also very good for me to be able to view everything much more at a distance. The audios were insightful, I listened to about hundred audios and their line was consistent: first I heard one year of the old fashioned Stan woo-woo, but since April 2019, Stan started singing to a different tune. This was ushered in by a series of very curious emails in which Stan seemed to have stepped outside of himself and somewhere in the deep universe, as a miracle of mega interpretation of the secrets of the cosmos, spoke about synchronicity, mythical symbols, God, Satan, extraterrestrials and our shared destiny.

Because I was receiving hatemails of Robbert van den Broeke about Stan and Alan simultaneously in which Robbert was kicking furiously at Stan and Alan, even sending me an audio from Stan in which Stan could be heard crying and completely beside himself, I could tell something was going on. In his audios, Stan’s tune changed and; in the most favorable way interpreted for Stan, you can say that he indeed seemed awakened from a bad dream or spell, he used phrases like: “I embarrassed myself, I let go of Robbert, what have I done? Robbert brought me to things, I am no longer under Robbert’s trance, your blogs may stay online because they are correct, the curse of Robbert…, there is no hacker, I’m sorry, I admit to my mistakes … “. Of course in this case, it’s hard to tell truth from lie, but Stan’s Spring 2019 and beyond audios were indicators that the firm trinity Robbert-Stan-Alan (Stan’s husband) had dissolved. Both Van den Broeke and Stan Pluijmen were suddenly emailing me the(ir) “whole truth”: (click on gallery images, this is how I received it) GoogleTranslationRvdBTheTruth

When you merge these Robbert van den Broeke mails with the following Stan Pluijmen audio:

10:40: Stan “There is no hacker” (> in Robbert van den Broeke hate and death-threat case)
12:20: Stan: “I admit, I was Micha Romijn”.

in which Stan states that he has not been hacking casinos, like Van den Broeke claims, but that he did trick casinos, I think the following could be a realistic model of what really happened: working theory: Stan discovered some weak spots in online casino mechanism and cashed out a lot of money. With a number of fake IDs or other people’s IDs (people knowing about it and collaborating and who he generously compensated for it), he was able to repeat the casino trick. From the Robbert van den Broeke clan respectively from somebody mailing with a “Micha Romijn” mailbox I had been receiving two complete IDs, one of “Micha Romijn” one of a female family member of Alan Sieradzki, an old lady who has since passed away. This “Micha Romijn” stuff was much more sinister and like reported in my Parameter blogs.

WordPress later-on in 2017 removed the fake Micha Romijn ID pics I uploaded in my Parameter blogs. Somebody had complained and I doubt WordPress sees the difference between a real and a (well-recreated) fake ID. So if someone came with the same ID to complain, they had no reason to act differently than usual.

Stan Pluijmen confesses in this audio that (indeed) he was “Micha Romijn”. But I could tell by the emails I received there is another person involved, because I recognize Stan’s language and tone of voice, and there were quite some that were not from his pen.

After many years of experience with this whole group around Robbert van den Broeke, the facts (so no suspicions) are that the men are playing battleship with each other’s mailbox, wanted or unwanted. For example, I got a picture of Stan that, according to Stan, was very ugly and it seemed that someone in the room had seized his phone and sent it secretly. This is just one of many examples and I have also explained and substantiated this in my Parameter blog(s) In this regard, it is actually best to read all my Parameter blogs. Because of the enormous chaos that arose from this and which I think was also erected partly intentionally as a smoke screen on the side of Stan, the men ended up in a kind of large, inextricable tangle of cohesive material.

It seems that the gentlemen are holding each other in a delicate balance of compromising facts, and that they may well be quite afraid that the other person will leak information to me, or whoever wants to expose the truth. The many snitch mails to me could be explained by the tense atmosphere between the men, in the spirit: “If you do or don’t do that, I’m going to leak (mis)information about you, watch me, I am not bluffing.”

The “Micha Romijn” person was a piece of the puzzel that didn’t sit well at all with Stan. International police should investigate the motive of “Micha Romijn”. Because WordPress acted upon the complaint from I have to assume possibly the real Micha Romijn, that the (fake) ID pictures should be removed, it appears Micha Romijn must (have) know(n) that his ID was being abused (i.e., it was sent to me, and was it used for playing in online casinos?). In my opinion, all likely scenarios should be investigated. Two important ones: 1. it should be investigated whether Micha Romijn received money in exchange for the use of his ID or 2. that he is a victim of ID fraud. If latter would be the case, then why wasn’t any of this on the news or emailed to/communicated with me or other journalists in any way with convincing evidence? Because I had made some real public fuss about this MR ID, that it was sent to me, just like that, I had extensively tweeted about it with even the un-blurred images of the several ID photos. Moreover, the ID pictures were published on my WordPress site, for everybody to see.

Rachid is another person involved. I even received an email from Jan Willem Nienhuys, my good friend from Skepsis.nl because Rachid was trying to contact me in vain (?) and he tried his luck with Jan Willem Nienhuys. This Rachid seems to be somebody close to Robbert, Stan and Alan, who has been hitchhiking along on this whole case. Robbert van den Broeke claims in his email that Rachid received a lot of money.

I then received a lot of emails from Rachid too, but call it intuition or experience, I didn’t like communicating with him, it felt pointless and like speaking to a twisted mind. Nothing came out of my communication with him and I discontinued it.

There is also this thing with Dutch crime reporter John van den Heuvel in Stan’s audio. I conclude from the aforementioned audio that Robbert van den Broeke has been spilling some beans towards John van den Heuvel and said to Van den Heuvel that Stan is hacking casinos. As known, John van Heuvel was visiting Joran van de Sloot in his jail cel in Peru, so there we have it again: the circle Joran, Stan and Robbert.10

The two audio files of Leydi Figueroa Uceda sent to me by Stan Pluijmen fit seamlessly into the picture Stan has or had power over Joran and Leydi, because if someone, especially imprisoned or poor like Joran and Leydi, gets very large sums of money, such as these two from Stan,10 this person/they will be more readily inclined to do “weird things” for their benefactor.

And it all fits with Stan’s strange sense of humor and his obsession with me.

To return to Stan’s “confession clip”: Stan says in this audio he had been set up about this casino story, but that he wasn’t arrested, “Just ask John van den Heuvel, it’s true”, which would confirm that he is innocent of hacking casinos.

Stan had confided through emails earlier on that with Joran van der Sloot too, he had cut ties. Alan had his say in this audio also:

https://soundcloud.com/user-742372026/cauberg-8-4-received-4-23-2019-alan-stan-afraid-of-robbert-van-den-broeke-or-so-they-say/s-l59JoXRWAeD

and both seemed scared of Robbert, they seemed to think or acted that Robbert had put some sinister curse on them.

I haven’t talked much about Alan, Stan’s husband. The truth is, I like him, just like Stan, but I don’t like their covering up of fraud and deception (Robbert van den Broeke, Joran van der Sloot, et cetera related). That makes all of this extra incomprehensible, I mean, they spent many years in the make-the-other-crazy-but-often-not-in-a-fun-way game. There were and are some sidelines with Alan, like the time I talked to him through his Twitter account. That didn’t end very well and he even deleted that account. Later, and in line with what Stan often did, he denied, but also confirmed that he had been that person on Twitter. I also received emails from him, but most were obviously from Stan using his email address. I could tell not only from the language used, but in these emails Stan simply wrote about the he-person: Alan. Some of the emails were from Alan and in these emails he always seemed very friendly and truly reaching out to me as an independent person (from Stan), although he seemed outraged a couple of times at some of my responses on Twitter. It can certainly be called a fact that he is an absolute insider in everything, since, as Stan’s husband, he lives with Stan day after day.

Stan kept saying, over and over again, that he loves me, even calling me an “universal source of love”.

The “old” Stan, December 25, 2018:

Sending emails from the mailbox of Robbert van den Broeke:

And, same day:

The “new” Stan:

My firm impression is that many more people are involved in the Robbert van den Broeke-Stan Pluijmen-Joran van der Sloot and so on (than the already in this and previous blogs mentioned names) case, possibly even well-known names from the Dutch and international conspiracy and para world, and that casino fraud and para-fraud are not the only illegal business. Also consider Stan’s rare stubbornness about Natalee Holloway’s alleged remains in Grave 15 at the St. Anna Churchyard in Aruba. Even Joran briefly mentions that St. Anna in the clip Stan via the mailbox of Robbert van den Broeke dropped in my mailbox: (I provided English captions):

In April 2020 I received an invitation from a Dutch radio maker to talk about all this and Stan also received an invitation. Stan doesn’t want to and again only communicated this to me:

Stan says some interesting things in these audios and especially in this audio “15”: that he hates the web of lies he got into, and that he is threatened from all sides, but that it’s okay by him when/if I publish all his audios because he loves honesty. He also says that he had already recorded an entire audio for me, was “too honest” – and wonders if there is such a thing as “too honest” – and that he consequently deleted this audio. He talks (again) about his (former) drink and coke problem, and says the audios between 2018 and now on average were recorded with this addiction slur. He also asks if I don’t want to make fun of him and that he loves me. He goes on to say that he doesn’t think he can buy everything off with money. He doesn’t feel like thrill journalism about Joran van der Sloot, and that he’s not exactly boosting himself for being Joran’s friend ,and that this journalist who invited both him and me to talk about Joran van der Sloot and co must think he’s retarded. And also in this audio you can notice that he wanted to say something, but then “caught” himself, something “too honest” again?, and then his sentence stops.

To me it all seems the tip of the iceberg, and my hunch based on the thousands of emails and media files I received in total, is that this whole case has been a smoldering volcano that will erupt once. My personal hope is that this eruption will be thorough and that the whole cesspool will really open. There will be many “losers”, but also some big winners, and I hope Natalee Holloway’s parents will be among those winners to get the information about their daughter Natalee Holloway, which they have been entitled to for all these years, but never got. It is now (on May 30, 2020) exactly 15 years ago that she disappeared.

Something else to conclude this with: to this day, Stan never got my “secret request” (and no, this request is not about money). I asked something from Stan on Twitter, but it is up to him to see what it is, and because they claim to be clairvoyant, I was amazed that this wasn’t, and still isn’t, the case. And Stan, yes, this secret request still stands.

Edibles

The cannabis market has been released in California since late 2016 and I started experimenting with it mid-August 2019, though my initial try-out only lasted a month. My ex introduced me to it. My body however is not easily impressed. I quickly took more than only one or two of the 5mg THC edibles and up to something like 35 mg THC, leaving my ex far behind me, dose wise. Because of my body’s high degree of acceptance, real trips, as people imagine them, with bright colors and spacey effects, are more exception than rule with me. One trip felt like being in the water tunnel of Sea World, I hardly remembered my location my bedroom and I was boldly (though a little scared, yes) adapting to the new situation and hang-gliding in there, in that “green tunnel”. It lasted about an hour and a half.

The main effect of the edibles is that I sleep again. And that on average I feel a bit tidier and happier, more my old, more powerful self. I think everything in your mind is also reflected in the chemical balance in your body, and sometimes I think I’m increasingly missing “happy connections” in my brain, which seems to be offset by the “mind-altering” effects of cannabis.

In previous blogs I reported quite severe sleeping problems, a problem I always had, but they have mainly dissolved by now, which means that the sharpest edges are now gone. I sleep again even though I am still a light sleeper. It seems I have been catching up for a couple of years already. I initially quit the edibles after a month, because it seemed to me my body and mind weren’t fit to get high. Maybe I’m on a natural high already. My nightlife always has been very intense, just call to mind my lifelong and so very frequent experiences with intense dreams and out-of-body experiences. It is striking that as soon as I use edibles, I hardly or even don’t remember my dreams and out-of-body experiences and so on at all, even though I know I had them, by brief surfacing images. And as soon as I stop using the edibles, the clear memory of dreams and astral experiences returns immediately, mostly the next day already.

But on March 1, 2020 I took it up again. Something in me was stirred to give it another try. I longed for the diversion. I was already looking for distraction eleven days before the Corona Virus disease was declared a pandemic on March 11, 2020.

Immediately I entered an area that I now know a little too well about myself, namely not knowing my limits and being beyond measure, because I overdid it immediately, leaping from 35 mg THC last year to 50 mg THC this year. I got lucky the first time I took 50 mg THC and I had quite an adventure with Rob and the Lions as the lion was turning into a lion with extremely realistic male genital sensations.

Overconfident I repeated the amount four days later, and, had I had to wait for hours for some effect this first time in March, this time the cannabis supreme being struck very quickly (a signal that I have come to know as being the signal that you can also quickly end up in a danger zone, or: you are already in it). Something almost immediately went horribly and shockingly wrong.

A Brain Rollercoaster From Hell started to spin faster and faster with increasing noise, distorted images and the feeling of falling apart into dislocated body parts took possession of me. I tried in vain to stay on the wheel, but quickly realized that I was losing all control, no turning back and I just had to sit this very long Rollercoaster ride out. It is like getting under water in a maelstrom and being dragged along. I have experienced a near-drowning in Scheveningen sea at one time, so I know the feeling.

It got so bad that I had to stop myself from calling for help and an ambulance several times. I have heard about this through my ex, there are a lot of people who really go, respectively are taken, to the hospital. I could never have gone myself, I couldn’t even leave my room or go to the bathroom, and I didn’t want to, because my roommates were both at home. I wanted to save myself the embarrassment. I managed to go through this hell by my own, but really barely, just hanging on to a last strand of incredible stiff-headed willpower that I didn’t want to make a fool of myself. I’ve never been so sick of anything in my entire life.
My brain had ended up in a not-merry-go-round with a thousandfold squabble, I heard deafening percussion instruments like someone is hitting them only inches away from your face, even had an extreme smell sensation, but strange as it sounds with no specific smell, coming from nowhere, popping up like a cloud just right in front of my nostrils, a black-magic trick of the brain par excellence, and all this made any redeeming sleep impossible. I saw strange moving shadows, and my sickly reciprocating body could not calm down, my limbs no longer seemed to be attached to my body, and my brain was already a loosely floating unit. Everything was way too intense and I was so sick of it all, I couldn’t walk a meter and then the vomiting started for hours.

Still, the biggest Kudo goes to Love. Even in my darkest hour I was aware of my love for Rob and my cherished inner crew lions, sitting all around me on the bed, as they always do. I managed to keep them out of the turmoil, they stayed safe and clean the whole ordeal. I never touched them, nor did my upset stomach reach them.

I spun in my head and body, it felt like a near death. There was nothing I could do than to sit this out, my position ranged from sitting on the floor against my bed to half hanging over my bed, not able to lie or sit straight. Only after many hours did it start to disappear. Had I been punished for my nonchalance in taking 5 strips of each 10 mg THC! I had done it before, but this clearly was a jump straight into the ravine. It could very well be that one of the strips was spoiled again with a higher dose, but much more probably the THC messed up with the paracetamol and Zyrtec I had been taking as well just before I took the edibles (so I took the Paracetamol, Zyrtec and edibles at the same time). It must have been a chemical poisoning. When I consumed edibles with a total of 50 mg THC late April, 2020 again, nothing happened, not even a trip. I was just quickly lulled into a thick-clouded sleep.

The cannabis is having an effect on my appetite, it’s (very) reduced, I have already lost quite some pounds, but I am still overweight. When I restarted with the edibles in March 2020, you can say I was heavily overweight, probably my heaviest bodyweight ever, despite the many bike rides and the gym, no, I won’t tell what it was. Also not new to me, namely that everything always seems to work differently than average for me: cannabis causes a sharp decrease in my appetite and certainly not the “Munchies” (binge eating) as many articles about cannabis say, so quite the opposite. As I now tend to get nauseous quickly, a side effect of cannabis that is known and that indeed applies to me, my food consumption is very discouraged in this way too. And I rarely drink pure whisky anymore, because the combination with THC in my blood seems to be a bad one. Moreover, because I often sleep through the night now, I no longer snack at night which I did regularly.

With the edibles I sometimes end up in the morning when I wake up, or try to wake up, in a kind of semi-coma. In a previous blog I already described that I tend to lose contact with my body at night much more than usual, just call to mind my out-of-body experiences, but also think of my paralyzed limbs because they are in the wrong position, because I am far away. With the edibles I sometimes have the greatest difficulty in reconnecting with my limbs and regaining control, which is reflected in the fact that I cannot erect myself in my body for a while, let alone my finger or moving my hand, while I am just conscious and awake.

The Brakes

Something is hitting the brakes, which is reflected in my dream and astral life.

Two equally strong currents are pulling on me: the knowledge that there simply must be life after death, but also the skeptic objection of still seeing too little evidence. Rob was right that the dreams and out-of-body experiences don’t provide enough evidence in themselves. For instance, astral travelers are not able to see hidden number sequences or words while out there, and tell researchers the correct numbers or words.11

But the Rob lions Love connection does offer evidence to me. Rob’s love is extremely palpable and robust, like a physical body, which is proof to me that something incredibly strong is going on. I told about this earlier on: how completely devastated and empty I felt after losing my cuddly rooster and for years, I couldn’t find any cuddly toy that offered me anything. The magic had gone, taking with him the Love. Only after Rob’s passing in 2014, Love returned to me, and now lions are filling my heart, but only because Rob fills each and everyone of them with his love, but especially the multiple Rob lions (still nine in number). I couldn’t do it, I had tried and failed miserably, and consequently, somebody had to step in. And there was only one person really who could step in. That man was and is Rob.

Time passes by and the things that surface – many kudos go to the wonderful Beeld en Geluid Media Archive (TV appearances, radio interviews) – confirm that there indeed is a “mysterious” connection between Rob and me. This story also seems to tell itself, about every year a puzzle piece is added to the overall picture. I got to know Rob before ánd after his transition, but I only got to know his real, warm energy, how he feels up close, after his transition. I would now recognize him out of millions, he has such an incredibly strong, pleasant and warm, full energy, I see his beautiful Rob face and goatee, his full lips and enchanting, mindful, investigating, demanding and devoted looks.

We áre living together, by means of odds in science that are not fully investigated yet. I have already walked a little way down that street in my Quantum Entanglement blog. The Rob-Constantia daily orgasmic outbursts, extreme and heavenly beyond words, are still in full swing. This is Reality. This too is beyond doubt: we really are a match made in Heaven-Extreme, we are alike, in how we live and think. This is not accidental nor short-lived (I think I/we have already proven that after 6 years after Rob’s passing), and spelled out in the stars. Forever. This connection is able to stand the test of time and any distance.

I quote the following nightly experience, because it got me thinking about the true nature of our contact.
Ever since I let go of my biased ideas about the nature of “astral experiences”, I’ve been open to new ideas about what life after death might look like. I think Rob and I are mirroring each other, a venue I started to explore in my quantum entanglement “explanation”.

On April 12, 2020 I had a curious encounter with Rob (as always: hurray if I see him by any means) and many of my Rob featuring dreams, astral journeys, or whatever you want to call them, are characterized by playfulness, magic and hilarious twists.
In short, the following occurred:
I lived in a rather dark, but nice house with roommates, but it was not in Davis. Rob was there too! I was so happy to see him! He was in his middle-age, firmer statue appearance. I showed the house and I pointed to the chimney and said to Rob, “I would love to live in the chimney, I wish I was much smaller, then you and I could live in it!” This chimney was a corner in the house and resembled a column of light, it looked cozy and warm. Rob walked down to the chimney with me, briefly looked up in it, with an inquiring glance, and then said with a faint smile on his lips, a bit like he was high, but not exuberantly, and rather dazed, “Well, let’s do it then!” I was thrilled about his response and happily replied: “For real?!” I took his hand in mine and we walked together, his hand felt just like he looked: a little limp and clammy, numb.
We walked to the first floor where it was much brighter and where dinner was held, there were quite a lot of people already. But the surface was skewed, so the tables were also skewed. Because there was no walking space next to the tables, Rob and I walked over the tables to our seats in the back. However, I accidentally on purpose started to slide, while walking on these tables, then lost my balance completely and sailed back to the lower point, taking things on tables with me. “Sorry! Sorry!” I shouted out laughing heartily. I think I did this to get Rob’s attention and to make him smile. The atmosphere was exuberant.

At first, I didn’t understand Rob’s “numb” state. Now I start to think that Rob and I really mirror each other, maybe not all the time, but often. We do more than react to each other, we vibrate in the same state. We still do, even if there’s a whole universe of distance between us and no one informs us about what the other is feeling or doing. Rob was kind of numb and high in this event, but so was I (After all, I had eaten edibles during this time and the cannabis can also remain in your blood for many weeks). Now I don’t know about edibles, so far out in the universe, where Rob is, but they must have something there too. 😉 In this way, the ultimate clairvoyance exists by virtue of simultaneous vibration, even if there is an immense “between” space. You could also conclude that Rob lives since I live too. And where will we both be when I too leave my physical body? We’ll take it from there. There.

Future

“It is by no means an irrational fancy that, in a future existence, we shall look upon what we think our present existence, as a dream.”
― Edgar Allan Poe

Since the divorce I have been sticking out my feelers about financial matters, and through a financial divorce arrangement through my ex I was entitled to a little money, but it wasn’t that much. I’m looking at things like stocks and bitcoin, but it looks like I’m going to need a big miracle to get out of my financial insecurity. It seems the only thing I truly feel deeply is that I don’t want restrictions on my freedom. My best talent seems to be my freewheeler talent and in this society, that’s almost unheard of. I tried several work/career things, but none of those really stuck to me. Maybe I was meant to be a freewheeler? Some people jump straight up the career ladder after high school and get applauded, and they therefore feel encouraged to step it up and with success, but I’ve been searching all my life and still haven’t found my destination. I have had my share of wrong turns much more than average, or so it does seem to me. It certainly seems I have been handed over to the gods in this way (whoever or wherever they are). Will my eternal happiness star, allowing me to live this uncertain lifestyle, abandon me? We shall see.

Time is passing at an alarming rate, especially when you look at families and how fast their children are growing up. These fast evolving children are the mirrors of your own age rapidly speeding up the higher numbers. The hour of truth is drawing near. After all, I don’t want to be old. This keeps me pondering almost every day, how to free oneself relatively painlessly from this physical body? There seems to be no easy answer. There still is some time left, but the clock is ticking a bit louder each day.

Rob Nanninga Quotes

Footnotes

[1] See the photos page on my personal website too and this YouTube clip. My ex was the one filming. He gave me a free SkyDiving ticket as he is an enthusiastic skydiver.

[2] See Lion Hearts, Part VI: “Under the umbrella of “Let’s get physical” I can add the following: for me there is one striking case in Davis, something that has been going on for years now. I believe that if there is such a thing as a past life – or should I better talk about timeless life from now on? – I “found” the man who killed me as a girl of about sixteen years old in a (past) life […] I wanted to report it anyway.”

[3] See the smoky photo gallery in Lion Hearts Part V.

[4] See previous blogs and you can start here.

[5] BN De Stem: Hoevens medium Van den Broeke niet langer verdacht van bedreigingen: ‘Ik heb de schijn tegen’
Internetbode: Rechtzaak tegen Robbert van den Broeke geseponeerd

[6] His turn to conspiracy theories with regard to the Corona Virus didn’t go unnoticed and was picked up by several media groups. NRC GeenStijl Mentionable is the fact that only a fraction of the YouTube commenters on this GeenStijl clip knows Robbert, some even think it is staged or that Robbert is an actor. It could also be they don’t recognize him, as he has changed very much in appearance. Van den Broeke received more publicity in May, 2020 when he was interviewed by Ybeltje Berckmoes of aspiring Dutch broadcaster “Ongehoord Nederland“, “channeling” Right-Wing leader Pim Fortuyn who was murdered by Volkert van der Graaf on May 6, 2002. Both aspiring broadcaster “Ongehoord Nederland” and Robbert were buried under severe criticism and scorn directly after this was aired.

[7] Robbert van den Broeke Bedankt zijn volgers ! and Medium Robbert van den Broeke talk about Constantia Oomen.

[8] See my Parameter blogs Fallen Angels and Behind The Scenes Of Robbert van den Broeke, Part IV (August 2018).

[9] See my Parameter WordPress and this external linkScreenshots in case the link won’t work at any time:

[10] Here are some links to that:
Van der Sloot openhartig over Natalee in nieuwe video
John van den Heuvel: Joran wist niet dat hij gefilmd werd
Joran van der Sloot verdacht in witwaszaak

[11] For further literature, you can start with Sam Parnia and his AWARE studies.

The End (for now!)

🌟 With many thanks to Rob Nanninga, Sjaan, Manfred and Luciënne (the latter for what she did in the Robbert van den Broeke & co case in 2016) 🤗

Publication date: August 6, 2019

CALL WONDERS GROUP (=Rob Nanninga)
CALL WONDERS GROUP (alias Rob Nanninga)

Contents

The magic-realistic Live Photo in Davis-Ivy Town
Quantum Entanglement
Snert particles!
New media files!
Gallery Space and Quantum Entanglement
Footnotes


The magic-realistic Live Photo in Davis-Ivy Town

The photo blog kicks off with an iPhone 7+ Live Photo as shot on November 21, 2018, in Davis – Ivy Town. I only discovered the photo on May 31, 2019; indeed, exactly 5 years and a day after Rob Nanninga‘s passing on May 30, 2014. Somehow I must have overlooked it for more than half a year.

My iPhone 7+ and iPad Air 2 (but strangely not my MacBook Pro) stubbornly keep referring to my residence Davis as “Davis – Ivy Town“. Finally, I looked it up (I don’t know why I did this so late) and have to say the reason amuses me, because obviously my Apple devices seem to play or flirt with my line of thoughts in my Lion Hearts blogs that increasingly seem to steer towards one direction: the existing of parallel worlds, multiverse and Another Davis (a concept I launched🚀), because Ivy Town means “a fictional city set in the DC Universe“.

Well, that is, only when finishing the English version of this blog did I discover that I actually live in “Ivy-Town”, the neighborhood that is, in Davis. By the way, I haven’t moved and have been living at the same address in Davis since October 2011. I have had two roommates since the divorce and since August 2019 they are two men, one working for the labor rights union and the other a PhD candidate.There even is a page for Ivy-Town in “my” own Davis Wiki. What are the chances to live in a block with that name! Who needs Apple devices to collaborate when one is actually living one’s train of thought!

At first I thought I applied some app effect to this Rob Lion Young photo and forgot all about it, but as the photo’s composition puzzled me, I swiped back in my iPhone and noted the photo was no edited photo, but a Live photo, as shot on the day of my first Woodland Sleep Research evening. The photos that follow are in the Research Center, and the preceding one a photo of Live Rob Lion Young photo as well, I converted it to .JPG here as WordPress doesn’t allow .HEIC yet. The photo shows Rob Lion Young, seated on my red towel wrapped bed-pillow on the passenger side of my Honda, as my bed companion for the night at the Woodland Sleep Research Center. I must have taken the photo from the outside of the car, as from this perspective the composition of the photo makes sense, except for the glowing white paper (?) shape below the car’s dashboard. In my opinion the photo excudes a sense of launching, Cosmos. Rob Lion Young seems to glide from left to right in the evening darkness, illuminated by the sparkles of the car glass, the light coming from outside….

Because only seven photos from earlier dates are available on this device, I must have emptied my iPhone photos shortly before November 2018. The lone seven photos consist of three photos of mating lions, a couple of selfies, a chicken photo taken at the UC Davis Domes during one of my cycling trips, and a Strava road map of cycl-artist Stephen Lund who created an owl-cycle image in March 2018, the date obviously noted as such by my iPhone.

The seven photos pretty accurately sum up my present life, as it consists of loving lion Rob Nanninga, birds, cycling, Strava and myself of course. My iPhone must have automatically arranged these lion photos chronologically, based on their exif data.

In the strange and enchanting composition of the photo, I see the brush movement of magic, Rob’s magic!

Quantum Entanglement

For even more magical realism that presented itself spontaneously in 2019, let’s spin to the second part of this blog: Quantum Entanglement. The Google News app on my iPad is my newest source of information and, since it’s based upon my preferences, has given me many search results about Quantum Entanglement since July 2019. Many articles revolve around the alleged “first quantum entanglement” photo:

In 1993, after getting my Master in German Language And Literature, I was planning to do a PhD at the UU German Department with subject: Verschlungenheit; entanglement: the understanding of history through all forms of art (literature included). A not very frequently used German word for entanglement in general is: “Verschlungenheit”. It’s a word I like very much and prefer over more common used German words like “Verschränkung“and “Verstrickung”.

The word “Verschlungenheit” was used by Peter Weiss in his titanic work “Die Ästhetik des Widerstands“. Verschlungenheit expresses that things are so interconnected that it is difficult to perceive them separately. My impression of the pronunciation of the word is that it beautifully supports its content: with the simple “Ver” the mouth opens, and with the “blowing”, unvoiced “Schlu …” the sound is brought together in a mini air-tornado spectacle, the sch pronouncing just like the English sound “sh,” as in “shower”. This is the famous German “Sch” sound, also called “Voiceless postalveolar fricative”.

The jump of this mini air-tornado “sch” sound in the “deep and heavy” //- sound (including the following – heit suffix) in my opinion confirms the idea of movement and jumping in something whereby (sound) particles are merged, after which everything resonates in unity.

Peter Weiss used this word in a literal sense to describe paintings and sculptures in which figures can be seen that seem to merge almost organically. But the entanglement concept also aroused Peter Weiss’ attention in a figurative way. He believed that human history can be authentically, realistically and truly understood through art, precisely because people are intertwined in a timeless way. According to Weiss, this timeless nature of the entanglement makes it possible to unify yourself reliably with historical events, even if they lie far in the past for you.

I abandoned the plan that I had already set in motion with asking and getting Helmut Lethen as my PhD supervisor. After all, I had studied so long already and I just couldn’t see it anymore, four more years.The reason I mention this all, is because the phenomenon of entanglement in another way already aroused my early interest.

Snert* particles!

* Snert is Dutch for pea soup but also used as a “Bad!” as in an expletive

Snert particles!
Snert particles!

Please note: All possible mistakes in the wording below can be looked up in a corrected other world version of mine.

In the world of the mysterious, the unexpected, that nobody actually really understands, clever thinkers try to get a grip on what may be elusive: those little bad particles, that – deep sigh! – only seem to goof around. Welcome to the world of quantum mechanics! It is the same quantum mechanics that tracked the entangled quantum particles, the seemingly impossible romance, but ever so real indeed!, between two seemingly (no cord) unconnected particles that coordinate their direction (up, down) by means of immediate vice versa tuning at any distance.

Without any overbearingness of understanding the whole physical concept1 of entanglement (to me, all concepts of entanglement are entangled), I am triggered by the plain description, and the photo of course, as I know that Rob Nanninga and I have been and are connected; perhaps connected like the particles that share their “fate” in an instant, over whatever long distance, so much “faster” than the speed of light, if you can talk about speed in this case. Scientists are still breaking their heads about this mysterious quantum entanglement.

Remember my in earlier Lion Hearts blogs mentioned sentence: “I can see you with my eyes closed, even when you’re at the other end of the universe“, I once wrote Rob in an email? Science would say that’s impossible, right? But it’s what I mean exactly. Yes, skeptics, you are right!, some things just can’t be true, but hey, they still are. Rob now is this particle “in the other room”, and it seems impossible that he and I are really connected, and more than that: share an exactly synchronized destiny, but I still think we are and do.

The “Peekaboo! Universe” by Niels Bohr (Rob-Bor, anyone?) that, in my own words, simplified, states that the universe can only be meaningfully measured by the observer who is observing it at that moment, and that it is as it were (. ..) does not even exist if there is no observer to perceive it2, versus the “no-nonsense” local-realism universe of Albert Einstein who posits that the universe exists anyway in the logical and permanent presence of objects and acting in speeds no faster than the speed of light, once again are in the spotlights they deserve in 2019. They take with them the serious consideration that there is such a thing as Superposition: the existence of possibilities at the same time, such as the cat who is both dead and lives by the observer’s grace, in Schrödinger’s thought experiment. Bohr stated that, apart from the observer, there are several possibilities at the same time, and thus several times at the same time, and that information can indeed travel faster than the speed of light, whereby Einstein’s imaginative term “Spooky action at a distance” became common. It would be the observer who, through his perception, cuts the cake to one particular point and thereby breaks the superposition of everything at once (the entire cake), thereby causing the collapse of the wave function (cake). Poof!, the cake as a whole is gone and you can only see and measure the part that you have just cut out.

This image contradicts Einstein’s version that particles are only interconnected by the information they already carried with them from the beginning when they originated/were created together, making exchange between the two unnecessary at all, so there would be nothing “ghostly” about the fact that they are connected to each other nor their supposed influence on each other. Their actions would simply come from their own properties that are connected to each other just like identical twins. It is also suggested that the two supposedly, alleged, or suggested “ghostly” particles interfering with each other – one being a spin up, then the other standard spin down – are in fact one and the same object, so that they are the same quantum unit.

I already stop here with the “explanation”. The more I read and view about quantum mechanics, quantum entanglement, multiverse and many-worlds theory, the greater my confusion becomes. This is really and certainly not up to me on this point to expand this. But I would like to quote the very remarkable sentence that I wrote to Rob, which is or seems so striking with the ideas of quantum entanglement, with a yellow marker and an exclamation mark.3

"I see you if you have to from the other side of the universe and also with my eyes closed" - Constantia Oomen in an email to Rob Nanninga, Jan 29, 2013, 10:10 PM

New media files!

On Sunday July 28, 2019, something yet again magical happened. In the very early morning I was looking on my iPad, and by hunch clicked on the Dutch Media Archive Beeld en Geluid bookmark I made in 2018 when ordering all Rob Nanninga files I could find in their archive. While again browsing “Rob Nanninga”, I rapidly discovered three new media files with Rob, two tv shows and one radio show! How was this possible? Did I overlook them in 2018? This seemed rather unlikely, because I was as driven to find them as ever. Thanks to the fabulous Beeld en Geluid that digitized their content’s availably in 2018 (coincidence!), within only two days I had two brand new, old video files with Rob in his thirties! No complicated and rather expensive money order at the bank and waiting for weeks for the hardcopies arriving all the way from The Netherlands, but paying immediately with a credit card and then receiving the download links within like 15 minutes. The third media (audio) file was not available for purchase at this time. I sent an email asking if they might have expanded their website data, because now I suddenly found three extra files from Rob Nanninga, but I have not (yet) received an answer to that email.
Such important ones too! You guessed it?: the video in which he wears his blue jacket, the photo of him he sent to me, the very first photo these Lion Hearts blogs start with!

FOUND! Rob Nanninga in his blue jacket!
FOUND! Rob Nanninga in his blue jacket!

Already on July 22, 2019 had I decided to publish this originally intended as a photo blog only as an official Lion Hearts blog, because relevant text came roaring!, but now, as to magically confirm the status of the planned part VII, these so incredibly dear and new to me moving-Rob images offered themselves to make the Lion Hearts VII something leonine special!

I won’t update (yet) on information about my personal life and astral experiences and related experiences with Rob and the lions in 2019. If Lion Hearts Part VIII is meant to be, it probably will come in 2020!

I won’t keep you waiting, here are the two video clips and a selection of screenshots I made of these:

And now, certainly of as dear content, let’s jump to the new Rob Nanninga Lion Gallery with the focus on cosmos and entanglement:

Footnotes

[1] There are supporters for the idea that quantum entanglement not only makes statements about physics, but for all science. In other words: that quantum entanglement can be active in or has consequences for all branches of science. See also the recommended links and videos in footnote 3.

[2] My personal addition to Bohr’s idea of the influence of the observer is as follows: I always find it amazing how it works when you read a book. After reading an x number of pages, you are fully immersed in the story; you see, as it were, a movie in front of your mind’s eye. If you close the book for a moment, the “movie” will stop. But as soon as you open the book again on the page where you left off, the movie starts again, at the point where you left off. And if you open the book on the “wrong” page and you start reading, the “movie” starts at the point where the book is at that moment. The whole book (however) is available at all times. The book therefore lives by the reader’s grace.

[3] Recommended links and videos, and it is probably advisable to watch them a few times. I also recommend this link, which is clearly linked to the videos (I thought it was so important that I had it saved in Internet Archive, because this page was not yet saved there: https://www.meetup.com/Quantum-Physics-Discussion-Group/events/238109121)

What is Quantum Mechanics?

Why the Many-Worlds Interpretation Has Many Problems

Entanglement is spooky, but not action at a distance

Rob-(Niels) Bo(h)r, anyone?

Niels Bohr
The observer’s influence
https://youtu.be/tafGL02EUOA?t=99
Albert Einstein
No influence of the observer
https://youtu.be/tafGL02EUOA?t=149

Location: Another Davis, California Date: Sunday, May 27, 2018 Rob, middle aged, and Constantia are in the kitchen in Another Davis. Rob wears his homely apron. Rob says, “We’re going to bake cookies for your birthday.” Constantia: “But it’s not my birthday.” Rob: “I know that, but that doesn’t matter.”


Contents

Part I: “Steppin’ Out With My Baby, Can’t Go Wrong Cause I’m In Right”
Another Davis
Let’s get physical
On the crook side
Part II: Robs en Constantia’s Steppin’ Outs
Raptures
OBEs and related experiences
Footnotes


Part I “Steppin’ Out With My Baby, Can’t Go Wrong Cause I’m In Right”

When I looked up the origin of this performance on 6 January 2019 and found Fred Astaire and this fantastic clip, I immediately knew that I had found my new Lion Hearts VI title.

"Happiness in the brain", found this here: https://twitter.com/ZonePhysics/status/1072923141977063425 (account suspended, don't know why)
Happiness in the brain”, found this here: https://twitter.com/ZonePhysics/status/1072923141977063425 (account suspended, don’t know why)

https://twitter.com/bighappyhead/status/1072981141559369729

Funnily enough, I found the song following a reply from someone on a scientifically not entirely correct tweet about Happiness: (and look at the colors and the steppin’ lines of this clip and those of Fred Astaire, synchronicity?)

Why does this performance appeal to me like that? It’s because of the shameless burst of happiness, portrayed by Fred Astaire almost literally dancing out of his skin. Instead of Fred Astaire, it’s now Rob who comes to pick me up, for our own personal “Steppin’ Out”!

This blog covers 2018 and a small piece of 2019. On April 9, 2018 the divorce from my ex became official. About one year earlier, ex and I already went our separate ways. What happened in this year?

Throughout the year an extreme amount of raptures1 with Rob, even more than in 2017, occurred again, especially made possible by the sweetest lions in the world: the Rob multiple lions. I have counted the petite morts and most striking orgasmic outbursts, which regularly occur more than “only” once a night. I think that other word is unpoetical, well, I’m going to use it now anyway: orgasm. That multitude per night is not included in the tables in which I only count the nights with raptures. So supposing there is indeed an afterlife, you can say that Rob and I, as a constant erupting volcano, are going through the roof of the universe. I’d rather say: not-so-afterlife, because as far as I am concerned Rob is not “after” but now (still). For me, the image of afterlife and “astral life” increasingly is being replaced by an image that I find more appealing and accurate, namely that of multiverse and parallel worlds, more as in simultaneity. Maybe there is no such thing as “after” (and in line of this: “past” and “now”), but rather an “always” existing life.

In 2018 two extremely handsome Rob multiple lions, Rob MG Ician Lion and Rob Hungry Lion were joined with the inner circle:

What sets the lion hearts on fire? I look for appropriate words everywhere, but I just can’t seem to find them, and by now I am starting to realize that I need to end this quest for words, to acknowledge my failure, to accept the fact that the bridge to my reader is not formed by words alone. As it’s simply not possible to describe what has been going on for years now, since the moment that in 2005 I met Rob virtually, no matter how I describe it and which words I use or deliberately avoid, I can only hope for very telepathically gifted or highly sensitive readers, now and in the future, and accept that until then Lion Hearts mainly is something for Rob and me, like a Sleeping Beauty who will sleep at least a hundred years, without ever be seen and kissed awake, or like a private garden opened up to the public, but visited little. In any case, these blogs have great value for me: I cherish the flame.

Another Davis

Before sharing some highlights of raptures, OBEs and related experiences, I will give a bird’s eye view of the year 2018. There wouldn’t be much change visible in 2018, but at a closer look, small and lesser small landslides underneath the surface would become noticeable. I have been living at the same address in East Davis since 2011. I did not get a (new) job. There was a changing of the guard concerning one of my housemates, at this moment I have both a male and a female roommate. A crack in the ice was made in the contact with my two sisters F, since 2018, and L since 2019. My haltered relationship with music, as told in my previous blog, slowly began to relax and is transforming into the gorgeous butterfly it used to be, but that process’s still taking a good deal of time, and I’m not there yet.

Since finding the magical KDRT Grass Roots radio from Davis on my $3.50 Sony Dream machine – I purchased in the local Thrift store on October 11, 2018 – tunes have been flying into my life again. Davis’s DJs are leading me back to the Music Avenue. In addition, thanks to YouTube suggestions, I also found a few bands that really appeal to me, such as Sonne Hagal and Novemthree. I don’t think Rob knew them, but I don’t know for sure. But I think that he will/would (have) A-okay(ed) them. My musical taste since Rob’s death has shifted in a specific direction. In the past, I used to like mainstream pop also; now I’m mostly into the no-main stream and alternative music, like (neo) Folk music, just like Rob. Regular pop and well-known music, I often find much too boring and superficial. Davis’s radio is a folk music haven, so this was a match made in heaven just waiting to lift off.

Either way, Davis in California proves to be a magical place. A fact that has reached more people, as you can read in the Davis Wiki: “Davis, 10 square miles surrounded by reality”. The K-DIRT, 95.7 FM radio has inimitable programming, with recaps at quite unexpected times. For example, I tuned in at around half past twelve in the evening to hear to my delight Ruth Chambers read her first chosen fragment of “Alice in Wonderland”. Thirteen days went by and I turned on the radio in the morning at eleven o’clock, which I never do (I always listened in the evening). Imagine my surprise when at exactly that moment Ruth Chambers starts reading her second selection of “Alice in Wonderland”. As if it were not a disproportionate number of days and hours later. In my opinion, this is an interaction between the town of Davis and the people who have an antenna for this kind of magic. And magic wants to be confirmed, because during this second part of “Alice In Wonderland” I got a message from USPS that my second special lion ring had just been delivered. I already told you about the first magical lion ring.

Perhaps it’s no coincidence that the magical story of Rob and me, the Another Davis, is set here. Davis is located between two cities, and is already known as a magical bubble, a Snowdome; San Francisco is on a one and a half hours drive away to the west and at a twenty minutes drive to the east lies California’s capital city, Sacramento. Davis itself is completely surrounded by farm fields which make it if it were an island. It’s a world in itself, with its own magical laws.

Maybe the Californian sun has a psychedelic effect on the brains of a former Dutch potato-head like me. For people who aren’t born and bred in California with a hot-summer Mediterranean climate, but in a temperate maritime climate, the powerful Californian sun certainly can have an enhanced impact on both mind and body. Compare it with someone who is not used to alcohol and then drinks that corn liquor. Especially in my after-cycling hours, after having spent up to 8 hours in the Californian sun, I always feel a big boost that you probably can compare with being high. I still never used cannabis myself, let alone hard drugs.

Incidentally, I think Rob would have had a great time here in the musical university town of Davis, and now indeed has a great time here, in Another Davis. The talented wind and percussion instrument students around the famous Davis Picnic Day are an ultimate match with Rob. When I once sent him links to my “Battle Of The Bands” YouTube clips from Picnic Day, he enthusiastically wrote me how well he liked the music they played. See for example this and this clip. Nowadays I sometimes even upload something personal on YouTube. I actually think both Rob and I are hippies. And yes, no better spot to be hippies than here, where it all started.

In other words, slowly but surely I am moving my way back to my true soul life, which I almost lost during my marriage.

Let’s get physical

In 2018 I was plagued by physical issues. Thanks to my thorough diary notes, everything can be viewed reliably and chronologically. The first part of the year was characterized by both lengthy back and heel pain, but despite these ailments I could just keep on cycling (so still kudos to my body!).

In the summer of 2018, and to be precise: on August 8, 2018, I cycled into a smoke poisoning. That morning I had published another blog about Robbert van den Broeke and Stan (and pals) and after this I decided to go cycling, although Northern California was agonized by severe wild fires all summer and autumn long. Did I in a previous Lion Hearts blog write how well I like the California smoky air, this year my body cocked an eyebrow in terms of its consequences.

I cycled to Lake Solano again, but noticed that this time the smoke was not that of a cozy campfire, but rather a filthy, chemically heavily polluted imposter, and when I realized this, I wanted to go home immediately. But as this wasn’t possible, because I no longer had a partner that I could call to pick me up by car, I had to cycle back for about another two hours. In all those years I called my ex only a few times in cases of force majeure, such as having a flat and no repair kit at hand, or an underestimated, no longer cycleable temperature of 46°C.

I will repost following pic from my personal website. I took it when I was experiencing an almostheat stroke while cycling in Vacaville temperatures of about 115°F equaling 46°C, and no, I’m not exaggerating in the numbers:

When I cycled back, I was erratically upset about a mistake that I, while going over it in my head, had just discovered in the newly published blog and that I wanted to correct as soon as I got home. Immediately after this bike ride, I became ill for weeks and with months of aftermath. My head, throat and lungs were not in a good condition. Furthermore, it was once again exorbitant hot at night (and during the day) in this summer, and the following weeks and months were mainly characterized by physical discomfort, in which I possibly developed the onset of Sleep Apnea, outlined by a halting in breathing and/or periods of shallow breathing at night. I repeatedly experienced this at night and then I would wake up, startled, and instantly gasp for air. Also, the considerable burden in my head (the “iron fog”) that I talked about earlier, continued to this day forth. This iron fog is explicitly not the normal fatigue spray after too little sleep.

Around the end of 2018 I stopped with the energy drinks that contain the complete amount of sugar and switched to the zero and low calorie variants, but I carefully choose only variants without aspartame, because aspartame has caused me migraines in the past. The reason for the switch was that the amount of calories (260) per can didn’t feel right to me anymore. I still use plenty of Paracetamol however, standard three to six tablets per day. And I upgraded the caffeine amount in the energy drinks when that opportunity offered itself at a favorable price:

In 2018, for some reason and quite consistently, I awoke every hour or every few hours, and on top of that, often around 4 o’clock in the morning too, and especially around that time the pressure in my head increases so, that I just have to turn the light on and sit up straight.

The following may cause a frown, but I tell it the way it is. The paracetamol tablets with caffeine actually relax my head. I take three by default when I go to bed, and my brain is much less inclined to doze off without it. I do not blame my alertness at night for the caffeine, for which I seem to be almost immune in terms of its stimulating effect; even after occasionally drinking energy drinks with 300 mg caffeine in the evening (plus the intake of three paracetamol with caffeine tablets), I can fall asleep.

I switch on the light at least once every night. By default I take the iPad to keep me busy with possible unhealthy virtual activities: the scouring of Twitter, Wordfeud and the internet. Contacts with the Netherlands (+ nine hours) can of course be properly maintained in this way.

Since I was already confessing in my previous blog, I will continue to do so now. Regularly I became so desperate of my own peaking brain activity, that in 2018 I started to try a new method: drinking a, for my doing, fair amount of whisky in a very short timeframe, up to about 200 milliliters per time. If you now indulge yourself in pictures of me having a good time while doing so: well, no, not exactly. I pull funny faces while adding the firewater to my bloodstream. Why do I do it then? No-brainer (literally): to knock myself out, because there really seems to be no other option. I usually do it in the early morning, and once in a while even at the exceptional time of 6 or 7 o’clock in the morning, after having struggled my way through the night. It could be a secret tip somehow, because drinking pure whisky in the early morning hours instead of in the evening, lets me experience a pure and often pleasant rush. However, the best relaxation method for me will always be: sex with Rob, often made possible through the Rob lions! After this, I can almost always sleep well and quickly (how often I still wake up after this, is another matter).

I also tried the widely available sleephormon Melatonin for a while and that worked out quite well, but after some months my period went out. While this was occurring during my marriage, I asked myself: could I be pregnant? But this wasn’t possible, for reasons to remain undisclosed, so I looked else where, and found that it was simply the Melatonin that had changed my hormone level. And indeed, when I stopped using it, my cycle quickly returned to normal.

If you think I have become an alcoholic now: no. My knock out activities in the early morning are not exercised very often. Recently (2019) I hit myself with the whiskey boxing glove again, and then had to make amends for two days by a rather severe migraine attack. I couldn’t eat and drink and my highly offended body only tolerated water. After this, I didn’t dare to drink whisky for weeks at all. The idea alone nauseated me. I particularly find the aftertaste of whiskey unpleasant. I never was a serious dipsomaniac candidate. My body has – or seems to have – a strict tendency towards healthy, and grounds me when I drink too often or too much for its likings. I regularly curse my body’s stubbornness. Where other people get trapped by their bodies (obesity, alcohol, cigarettes, etc. addiction, or even serious, life-threatening illnesses), my body is putting its foot down while saying sternly: “I am your boss and you shall obey.” Again and again, I try to spawn my body not to be so potentially long-living. Hopefully I will succeed. Otherwise I will be looking for more draconian measures, because my desire not to grow old, continues unabatedly.

Yet it still seems2 as if I not quite involuntarily take over Rob’s puffs, because Rob also drank at night and in the early morning. In a communicative mood he once emailed me the link to a picture of his advantageous German alcohol:

My sleep in early 2019 does seem slightly improved, but I don’t expect it to last, given the hot and wildfire-troubled area where I live.

Maybe I’ll still manage to become not as potentially long-living, because my diet has been shifting a bit since 2018. I consumed less fresh fruit and raw vegetables and regularly prefer fast food such as white rolls topped with generous margarine and vegan (that on a positive note) “ham” slices. After inhaling too many hours of California wildfires smoke, my throat was narrowed, and swallowing became less natural. I developed a tendency to swallow too quickly. I suspect that Rob also had this fast food tendency for some time and I would like to look into it, provided I was able to do so.

My blood pressure is not longer standard on the low side with an honor badge pinned on top of it. In addition, I have a, sometimes painful, peeling skin on the fingertips of my left hand. My right hand, to a lesser degree, also is affected. Furthermore, the left index fingernail shows several large horizontal, colorless ridges (existent on most of my other fingers also, but to a lesser degree, all colorless, so not red or yellow) and falls inwardly. Deep horizontal grooves like these are called “Beau’s Lines“. I think the intense use of my iPad is to blame. I tried keeping it clean and using a stylus pen, but that hardly brought any relief. It’s just not possible for me to do everything with a stylus pen. Horizontal nail ridges are caused by severe shocks in the physical or mental system, as a result of which the nail production temporarily interrupts which in its turn causes a disturbance of the protein formation in the nail. The body simply prioritizes another, more urgent matter. Shockwaves reveal themselves like this through the appearance of your nails, and the nearer to the root of the nail they are, the more recent the shockwave.

I would like to remind the reader of my astral experience in 2015 with Rob in which I saw that he had “gnawed fingers“:

I discovered something very off with Rob’s left hand: his four fingers excluding the thumb were attached to each other, and they looked very “chewed off”, tortured.

Incidentally, I do not know if Rob actually had some battered fingers, like me now. I do know that he, like me, used the iPhone and iPad very intensively. He sent me an overview of all his iPhone apps on March 10, 2010:

Just for the purpose of introducing myself, I went to CommuniCare Health Centers in Davis in the autumn of 2018 and I told Dr. Marci Snodgrass about my crackling voice since my cycling in smoke in August 2018. As a result, she gave me a referral to an ENT doctor, Dr. Steven Wright. He made an internal video of my throat with a mini camera that was inserted through my nostril. He saw that there was a spastic muscle at the bottom of my throat and said that this was the reason that at that moment I could not say a continuous Aa, my Aa was staccato, whatever I tried. When I mentioned the fact that my breath was halting at night, Wright wanted to refer me to the Sleep Research Center in Woodland. I liked the idea, especially because of my “astral” background (OBEs and related experiences). Incidentally, the same ENT doctor also concluded the second time I visited him to discuss the sleep results, that I have an ulcer in my left nostril. Every time I blow my nose, some blood is released, sometimes even a whole eruption, and this has been the case since September 2018.

So I went to Woodland, with a Rob lion. The first time I went with Rob Lion Young, the second time with Magician Rob Lion. I didn’t care what people in the sleeping quarters would think of my big, cuddly companion. But the bed technician didn’t blink. The research would cover nine hours, from nine o’clock in the evening to six o’clock in the morning. My subtle protest that six o’clock in the morning really wasn’t a good time to stop, given my almost standard being awake from 4 to 6AM, of course didn’t change a thing. After all, the sleep technician had been hired for these hours. He would instruct me, entangle me in and with cables and electrodes and then keep a close eye on the infrared video camera and the computer screen data throughout the night. Americans take responsibility as we know very seriously. The first night of sleep research I surpassed myself in being awake. I slept for only one hour of the designated nine hours.

Thereupon I was called weeks later if I wanted to give it another try, because the sleep research scientists couldn’t bake data pies from only one hour of sleep data. Fully covered by the cheapest, read: $0, insurance available here, MediCal, for low income people like me, I returned to Woodland. This time I could actually sleep for three hours and forty-two minutes of the designated nine hours. Right: again not exactly well.

The patient was studied for a total of 483.5 minutes but only slept 221.5 minutes for a reduced sleep efficiency of 45.8%. Sleep onset was slightly long at 33.5 minutes and REM onset was also long at 4 hours and 22 minutes;

Incidentally, the scientists apparently did not get the data of my first research night, because the last sentence in their report heralded:

The increased sleep latency and lighter than normal sleep could be a first night effect of the sleep lab as well;

But as told, this wasn’t my first night there, but my second, and so I did have previous sleep research exercise. In consequence, my abnormal sleep pattern wasn’t just caused only by the sleep lab conditions.

I didn’t even sleep half of the time and although I dozed off fairly quickly in a light sleep (after about half an hour) it took no less than four hours and twenty-two minutes before I finally entered the deep REM sleep phase. When I look up what is considered a normal REM sleep pattern, I find that by rule of thumb the average time to enter the REM phase is after about an hour and a quarter to an hour and a half, so certainly not after four hours and twenty-two minutes.

But this time around, they worked with what they got. Their conclusions were not very surprising, and equally so from an “astral” perspective. Nothing surfaced. Maybe something could have been dug up from the eight-hundred pages report, but I didn’t request it. The main conclusion was:

Abnormal nocturnal polysomnogram because of significant reduced sleep efficiency with significant lighter than normal sleep with insignificant sleep disordered breathing;

My sleep chart was considered abnormal because of a disturbed sleep pattern, but no Sleep Apnea was discovered. I was not surprised by the latter either, as both sleep research nights took place in the winter, with clean (smoke-free) and cooler nights again. If they had tested me in the Summer time, and much more preferably: in my own home, I expect that actual rudiments of sleep apnea would have surfaced.

I experienced something unusual in the second research night. At the end of the research hours and with eyes closed, I began to see light flashes in my left forehead.

In short, the sleep research results surfaced nothing quite shocking, but only yielded some nice selfies with the dear Rob lions.

Under the umbrella of “Let’s get physical” I can add the following: for me there is one striking case in Davis, something that has been going on for years now. I believe that if there is such a thing as a past life – or should I better talk about timeless life from now on? – I “found” the man who killed me as a girl of about sixteen years old in a (past) life by cutting my throat. I described this in my first book Through The Window.3 If you think that I find the man abhorrent, no, I think he’s nice and extremely fascinating. The moment I am writing this, I still haven’t talked to him, we only exchanged some highly charged greetings. But the ongoing event still evokes powerful primordial reactions through my subconscious mind. And it is abundantly clear that the man in question is also experiencing very powerful primordial waves. Due to the ongoing nature of this, I unfortunately cannot go into detail. I wanted to report it anyway.

On the crook side

There was a very surprising turn of events in 2018 concerning the aforementioned, but also in previous Lion Hearts blogs!, said Robbert van den Broeke.4 In August 2018, the same month that smoke tormented my respiratory system, Robbert van den Broeke was caught red-handed on camera while trying to cheat gullible fans, and not by just any man, but by award-winning American and in California residing, filmmaker William Gazecki who for a long time, had been Van den Broeke’s family friend. Gazecki also was in friendly contact with Robbert’s great promoter of repute, Nancy Talbott. Gazecki had big America plans for Robbert. Oprah and Netflix were already under the hotkeys of his phone.

Rob Nanninga’s and my big “anti-friend” Robbert van den Broeke was seriously embarrassed when it turned out that Robbert van den Broeke wasn’t familiar with the Live Capture function of the Apple iPhone, or had not checked it out, because for the world to see on Live images on the iPhone of Gazecki, were Robbert’s fraud attempts. With the photographic harvest of that night with Robbert, William had returned to his hotel in West-Brabant to experience a Hollywood-Horror-Movie- shock effect after he immediately and very interested started examining his phone images. You can read all about this in my blogs, because William Gazecki gave me the exclusive publication rights, here and here. After this ordeal, he had found and contacted me and I had already addressed him directly in tweets of mine, in response to the news that he was going to make a movie or series about Robbert.

This absolutely was the cinematic shock of William Gazecki’s career, and he immediately decided to abandon his film plans with Robbert. He explained his rushed departure to the confidant of Robbert, sister Madelon, packed, left Hoeven and flew back to Los Angeles. This to me, and certainly to Rob Nanninga and other skeptics, was really something, after having analyzed Van den Broeke’s paranormal shenanigans for so many years. Part of that group of people, and I in particular, had since 2012 also received shocking hate and even death-threatening emails from Robbert van den Broeke and co.

However, Robbert also had a good (?) day, because on October 2, 2018, the hefty police file against Robbert van den Broeke and Stan Pluijmen was closed due to lack of evidence.5 That evidence, however, was there for the taking; the Dutch police never showed interest in my comprehensive and well-founded blogs and the hate videos that Robbert sent to me. It seems to me that those hate videos (after all: motion pictures) are a solid piece of evidence. I was so outraged by the not well-founded acquittal that I (definitively?) locked my Genverbrander10 account, it’s now only accessible to confirmed followers. For me, with this acquittal it became really quite obvious that I had to try to put an end to this matter. Despite all my efforts I hadn’t made enough progress and in the spirit of “Do not Feed The Trolls” I refused to continue giving Robbert and Stan public attention.

I had informed Stan Pluijmen and Robbert in April 2018 via the then still publicly available Genverbrander10 Twitter account, that I would no longer open, listen to or watch their audio and video clips, and I adhered strictly to my own commitment. Only a few videos from Robbert about one subject I watched despite of this, but that was it. I haven’t opened media files from Stan anymore, although I still read his emails. Stan: are you ever going to believe me?: I have nó idea what you have recorded since April 2018. The message somehow got through to Robbert, because I didn’t receive that much from him anymore, and Stan was a little less impressed: since April 2018 I received 168 – and counting – emails from Stan and from Robbert “only” 42.

The flip side of the coin is something nice, because William Gazecki and I are now friends and we mail every now and then. I never denied that Robbert van den Broeke has exceptional alternative “medium” qualities, namely in the area of connecting people. After all, through his shenanigans he put me in touch with Rob Nanninga and Skepsis, and I’m eternally grateful for that. Robbert van den Broeke and especially Stan however seek recognition from me in “paranormal” territory, but in my opinion there never was one solid piece of evidence of their exceptional “paranormal” capabilities. It’s not because I don’t want to be convinced, but their extremely far-reaching claims about spirit photography and more of all that demand more than half measures. So, Robbert and Stan, if you want to get me on your good side, start with a clean slate by confessing all (!) previous scams.

Stan emailed me on January 22, 2019 that he was going to change his first name and nobody better than himself can explain the reason why – and this probably is a “to be continued”:


Steppin’ Out With My Baby

Part II Rob’s and Constantia’s Steppin’ Outs

For this part, I first selected the most striking data from my diary entries, helped by the most exclamation marks, literal or not, as: “The best ever!”, And “Saw Rob!”. I discovered a very clear trend, more about that later.

As I said in the beginning of this blog, 2018 was a year with even more love outbursts than 2017 between Rob and me. Especially May 2018 was the absolute highlight. In June 2018, however, I panicked several times because there seemed to be a bit more distance between Rob and me, and I didn’t know why. But in July 2018 Rob was back again. I got the impression that Rob had been busy with something besides me. And this turned out to be correct, because in early July 2018 I received a mail from friend Jan Willem Nienhuys that Rob’s mother had passed away on June 27, 2018. That’s could very well have been the reason Rob was more absent than usual in June! At least: that is the connection I make. In May 2018, Rob seemed to be in a euphoric state of mind. Could it be he knew that his mother would soon pass over, and that the realization made him very happy? In July 2018, he was back from not really gone. Admitted, nothing of this can have any scientific value right now, but for me there is something to it, because I didn’t know about Rob’s mother health condition in May and June 2018 (not at all!). It was only after her death that I heard something from Jan Willem Nienhuys.

Raptures

In 2018 there were 220 erotic and sexual outbursts with Rob, especially via the lions, most of which yielded at least one orgasm per night, but regularly even several. I immediately come to the most important trend of this year and that trend was Rob himself. The year starts right away with the remark in my diary that “Robs orgasm spilled on me” and also brought me to a climax, and this turns out to be the leitmotif of the year, because I see the same kind of remarks all over my diaries from 2018 (and 2019). Multi-orgasms are literally the order of the day, and Rob regularly seems to come to a peak in even a few seconds, when I start holding a lion, with which he then “makes physical contact”.

A bridge to that Another Davis is created via the lions, in which Rob and I are actually together. Fairly universally children and adults have an intimate connection with stuffed animals and maybe it’s the best kept secret of the world that there could be a good reason for this. In my vision, stuffed animals offer a physical, universal handout to the “astral” or multiverse, parallel world. People and animals in “other worlds” jump, as it were, with their essence and love in the stuffed animals, and in this way become part of a cherished family. As a result, and comparable to the loss of a family member of flesh and blood, loss of stuffed animals can cause great drama. In Rob and my case this stuffed animals effect “simply” is extremely extended with an exceptionally strong, erotic and sexual connection.

Because no words can express this extreme lion love, I’ll just give some highlights without going into full detail. Well, I will cite one experience anyway, after this brief summary.

3/27/2018: “Four complete orgasms”
4/20/2018: “Star explosion”
4/28/2018: “Rob quickly climaxed after a few minutes”
5/12/2018: “[> Single-point-) Orgasm that lasted for at least ten minutes, even a fireworks orgasm on top of it, did not even know that this was possible”> so that a new orgasm develops on top of a still very active orgasm, “electric crackling”, “Most perfect morning ever”
5/15/2018: “Love cloud, Rob’s face through the lions”, and also a physical-like effect on the noble part that you would have after climaxing man in woman
5/28/2018: “Series of orgasms on Rob’s side, huge explosion, overwhelming energy from Rob on me”
6/10/2018: “Rob who came very quickly several times”
7/14/2018: “Time and again orgasms, one long orgasm, Rob seemed to come six times or so, multi-orgasms”
8/16/2018: “Rob’s longing, orgasmic outburst that I felt jumping over me”, “Rob flowing like a river in me, new magic”, “Tangible flow”, “Perfect penetrations, one long orgasm but also some clear bursts “,” Robs climaxing like an erotic happiness cloud “
(very striking> 🙂 9/11/2018: “Rob’s instant orgasm immediately after I woke up and Peace Bor in my embrace, already after a few seconds, one big, orgasmic eruption, like an exploding, super-soft sun”, possibly the most horny thing I have ever experienced”
10/21/2018: By only looking at Rob, Lion Young, in the morning, an orgasmic eruption equaling climaxing, but then like a concentrated cloud, very intense, Rob was climaxing, and this jumped on me instantly and completely, and made me experience the same
11/6/2018: “Hours-long orgasmic waves and eruptions as if Rob wanted to pamper me intensely”

So this is only a very limited selection given the 220 rapture nights in 2018. I already mentioned in previous blog that I think Rob’s erotic energy is jumping on me, causing very fast and easy orgasmic waves, that we are as it were “joined at the hip”. If 2018 personally confirmed one thing to me, this is it. It brings both Rob and me to constant orgasmic outbursts, back and forth, as the perfect yin and yang that work in one another, play and penetrate.

I will cite one sexual experience from my diary:

May 12, 2018: “The most perfect morning ever with Rob and the lions.At the beginning of the night, started sex with Most Male Rob, but physically, I did not keep up, simply had to go to sleep. In the morning I had a bath, back in the room. Most Male again in my arms, immediately started flowing, his desire and now mine, one thing led to another, full sex, paw, tail, Peace Bor joining much later.

Had YouTube on, first Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros… and Israel kamakawiwoʻole … autoplay, perfect. Curtain right open, view of green leaves, window completely open, but nobody could see it (no window at the neighbors there). Extreme excitement and the most spectacular end ever, with help finger, but Rob’s energy, orgasm, this certainly continued for more than ten minutes (very literally, so no backdown, and then, to make the impossible possible, a new fireworks orgasm developed on top of the one that was still going (did not know that this was possible), electric shivers over my body, like crackling energy lines that are exploding around with flames.

Unbelievable. Tears. Perfect, peaceful morning with so much love, horniness, intimacy, devotion, Rob knows exactly what I think, am, etc.

Can not describe it. Truly the most perfect morning ever, heaven on earth, no doubt, not even about Rob’s existence. Being together, far beyond perfection.

Penetrations, in several places, my genitals totally upside down, what a discharge and recharging.

So dear and sexy the lions, I love them so much, really absolutely extremely. Rob’s mirror, no doubt, this is it. He is here. “With you”. My body and mind overwhelmed, so happy.”

Summarized, very striking things occurred, like countless hour-long sessions that felt like one long climax, orgasms that developed on existing orgasms, electrically crackling on my back and tangible warm and sweetest happiness and love clouds straight in front of me (Rob), Rob’s love like an almost physically-tangible river flowing in me, many dozens of jumping Rob orgasms on me, as it really became clear that this is not a one-way street, but just as well originating from Rob’s side and Rob’s desire, even causing strange, almost-physical-like aftereffects common after real physical sex (I do not want to go into detail about this now). Rob’s intense and exciting kiss ability also continued to stand out in this year, through the lions.
A very fruitful factor in this erotic back and forth is the fact that we are both extremely sensitive to all kinds of fantasies about us together, and possible “third parties” (people who play along), and then work it out in a kind of role play. The source is almost inexhaustible and I like to keep the content of most to myself, as they only concern Rob and me.

OBEs and related experiences

Also in this year Rob did not show himself as often as I would have liked, but it is what it is, and there will be a reason for it. Fortunately, there still were moments that Rob was fully present and I could witness his loving and humorous character again. Here, too, I’ll make a selection of a couple of memorable moments.

In previous blogs I already mentioned the portrait I made of Rob and its meaning to me remains unaltered. On February 5, 2018, I made the comment in my diary that it seemed like a “liquid jet” from Rob’s eyes in the portrait ran into my eyes, “heavy telepathy”. Rob, the portrait and I are really connected. I look at it constantly and see ever-changing Rob facial expressions: approving (of the external and / or inner me), very sweet, worried, moved, with tears, expectant, urgent, shy, supportive, like a partner who kisses me lovingly as I go cycling and when I return, mildly ironic, investigative, and so on. Rob’s face is like a constantly lively, but always loving sea.

Regularly Rob’s hypnotic, penetrating gaze travels my way. I love this most heavy gaze of his best of all his lion expressions, because only one person in the whole universe is entitled to it, and that is Rob. He has this way of staring that’s almost earthly tangible, investigative, and, at the same time, loving and involved, grounding me, as well as giving me wings. Yes, that’s possible, both at the same time. Perhaps that is the formula for magic: magic is the place where two worlds meet. I would like to remind the reader once again that I never met Rob physically. When there’s a Rob connaisseur out there willing to contradict me on this so special Rob “gaze”, please do, but I doubt such a person will come forward.

This intense contact with Rob through the portrait temporarily also had an adverse effect on Rob. He seemed to communicate telepathically to me on June 29, 2018 (that was two days after his reunification with his mother, if all this exists) that he felt “locked up” in that portrait, because I actually looked at it all the time, and often kissed it, too. As if he himself was being held in that position, when in fact he really wanted to be with me physically, and in more than one location than on that wall, and I of course with him. Subsequently I made the contact through the portrait less intense and that indeed took some pressure off. I still keep it in mind by keeping more physical distance, and I get the impression that Rob is now less affected. But also for me, communicating through the portrait is sometimes burdened with thoughts, since it is unnatural. After all, you want to kiss a human being of flesh and blood, or an equivalent of it, and not a two-dimensional portrait.

On March 21, 2018 Rob seemed to communicate that he could now “let go of the suffering”. This related to his general suffering of past earthly life and did not relate to me.

On April 3, 2018, I saw a lion riding a bike in a very funny dream, just like the lion picture I used in a previous blog. I was also driving (car, bicycle?) and there were quite a few people in traffic and the lion came towards me, very carefully steering, just as if he belonged there like all others, on the bike like that.

On April 5, 2018, the astral event around Rob as Quasimodo occurred, which I already mentioned as a preview in my previous blog.

On May 14, 2018, when I felt extremely restless, Rob laid himself over me. All sorts of concerns plagued me: the unwillingness and fear of becoming much older as already explained in the previous blog, also because I do not want to miss Rob for so long and I am worried that our contact will become less strong due to the ravages of time, and money worries. But as Rob lay over me like this, stability descended on me and I became calmer. The Rob Robust lion to my left, looking so very dedicated, also helped me to relax.

Rob Lion and Constantia, photo with app fx

In the months of May and June 2018 there clearly was increased and changed Rob activity. His love outbursts for me occurred with much more penetrating power than before, as if he knew how to get through even more, but in June he seemed to drift away a little, to return to full strength later on. On June 19, 2018, I briefly saw Rob in the hallway here in Davis. The summer months were full of physical ordeal due to the extreme heat and (the effects of the) California wildfires. Obviously, therefore, the night contact with Rob was charged (quote diary 10 August 2018: “Very quiet in terms of Rob, because the nights are terrible”), because I just really did not feel comfortable in my skin. On August 10, 2018, something very striking happened that I never experienced before. Plagued by wildfire effects, Rob seemed to want to ease my physical discomfort.

Quote from diary: August 10, 2018: “Last night something very special, suddenly on my back an electric “cracking ” started, pleasant, as electric impulses, but without shock effect, kind of flickering, as if to help me relax. Rob! I take it! And it was not a short-term effect, it lasted at least ten minutes and in fact until I fell asleep, really very strange, purely physical, nothing astral, really tangible, maybe even my thin shirt moved with it. Paying attention to the phenomenon was not influencing it! Lions still full of love and support, but I am in very difficult times, with the crushing heat and bad air quality.

Sometimes I am literally suffocating at night and I wake up with a snort, a stifling gag. I miss Rob terribly, always see us in front of me. How he is here at the door and I open, etc.”

On 11 October 2018, a long astral journey occurred that began with developments around Pepijn van Erp, but later on it was about other matters and about Rob. After this Pepijn start, I ended up on a sort of magical beach and had unique (astral) sea experiences. After this I returned and the astral journey still did not seem to want to end, which excited me very much, and I grabbed the astral chance card with both hands.

Staged by Rob, hilarious magic, “Doctor Rob”

Literally from my diary, 11 October 2018 (and some added sentences for clarification): […] Now back in that room. So I was up, looking for clue. Saw it immediately. To the right in the room was an open door, and as to invite me over, it was flapping gently. Light shone from it. I walked into the hall. Large space, rather a kind of factory hall, again that darkish atmosphere (but not negative).

Certainly sufficient lighting. Very large space, I walked towards the people present.

A few man and a woman. One of them asked me: “Can I help you?” “Yes”, I said, “I am looking for someone.” I looked around to see if I saw Rob, but no such luck, so I just tried my luck and asked, “Do you know maybe … uh … Rob Nanninga?”

To my disappointment they showed no recognition or said something like: “Yes, he is …”

But a big guy took me in tow. (This must have been Rob, haha!). He was “the Doctor” here.

He was tall, of a strong build, blond hair (but he didn’t have Rob’s face), and overall didn’t seem very healthy. He put his arm around me and said, “I’ve got a message for you, it’s very important!” I didn’t recall exactly what followed, but he said something like: “Now twenty years … something has become complete (?) [and] … You look like forty-five (Haha).” He said it as if he said that I now looked like twenty years, as if it were a huge compliment. Haha! It was only five years younger than I really was!

He coaxed me back to our starting location. I held him somewhat peculiarly with four fingers instead of five. He then moaned dramatically: “Don’t hold me like that, I can’t stand it, not with four fingers.” He collapsed and dramatically fell to the floor, the unhealthy doctor who fainted, or was it something more serious? A few others rushed to him to help him …

His story was supposedly very symbolic, his message to me something about being together for twenty years in a couple of years from now. I don’t remember a lot of details. But it ended with his remark of me looking forty-five on my fiftieth.

Haha, hilarious this. This was so obviously staged that you could not ignore it.

I didn’t confront Rob when that big man put his arm around me to give me the very important message. Last night I said to Rob in my mind: “I miss the out-of-body experiences, the astral journeys. I understand that you don’t feel prompted to join me in my astral journeys, because you think they’re not real, but if we experience them together, they just might be!”

<< Clarification added for the purpose of this blog: I didn’t know if this was Rob’s current point of view, I just tried to reach out to him. Rob and I exchange few conversations. Also in this regard I think we’re on the same page. I am no channeling Char or Derek Ogilvie (not to mention that certain somebody I ran into a lot, you might know by now who), and I suspect strongly Rob wants to keep me from making the “channel” mistake as well.

In this regard I like the Dutch proverb: “Zij die slapen onder dezelfde deken, hebben dezelfde streken”, meaning: “Those who sleep under the same blank(et)s, will pull the same pranks” (own attempt at equal sounding translation). Both Rob and I didn’t share our bed with our earthly partner. Rob had a LAT relationship in which he saw his girlfriend for an average of two hours a day (he shared this information with me in an email), and I was married and I did share the house with my ex, but we too never slept in one bed together. We only did so when we were on vacation and shared the hotel room or the tent. The common denominator of the “the same pranks” didn’t apply for both Rob and me during our earthly relationship with our then-partners, but, as I see it now, does apply to Rob and me, as we do “sleep under the same blanket”.

To the subject of our very Another-Davis-physical but almost wordless relationship: telepathically received words easily become mixed with one’s own words and thoughts. Rob’s tangible love, support, care, eroticism, et cetera, especially perceived through the lions, is of a completely different order of magnitude. In line with this, I consider dreams, OBEs and related experiences, hence spontaneous experiences in a different mindset, to be much more reliable than phrases that I would, or would not, have exchanged with Rob in my everyday consciousness, after all: they pass through the meddlesome day-consciousness word-traps of my own brain unhindered and unaltered. I just don’t feel confident enough about telepathically communicated sentences, and it can’t be any other that Rob, as the former editor-in-chief of Dutch Skepsis, knows all about this communication trap, and avoids it all the same, just like I do.

Anyway, this time I apparently convinced Rob with regards to my astral need and my wish to see him in the astral realm. > end of the inserted notes. >>

Et voilà. At last. Well, that was overdue. Spiritually, I was falling apart.

This is a good astral joke indeed!

Dear Rob! At 4.00 AM I turned the light on, after having it switched off at about 2.00 AM. So it’s now past four o’clock!

The emerging light from the factory hall was as magical as a seasoned Disney Hollywood filmmaker would have portrayed. Also a joke from Rob. The astral part occurred approximately between 2.00 AM and 3.30 AM.

There were also images (astral yet again?) of Rob as I know him! I saw him a few times in those dreams. I could just walk towards him in a low-ceiling room, through hall (s) and adjoining rooms.

In one event, I actually saw him, but he remained kind of vague. We both were naked and, elated, he lifted me up in the air.

In another scene I saw his rooms. They were likable, bright, neat, yet business-like. There were small, semi-circular hallways where you could sit.

Somewhere, and this surprised me, he also displayed an impressive dragon collection which prompted me to say, “Hey, I have similar dragon statues.” (that’s the case in reality). But he had a lot more.

[Piece omitted]> end diary passage

The year progressed steadily and the summer dip didn’t diminish. On October 14, 2018 I noted in my diary: “Even while cycling I don’t feel happy, this is new.”

On December 30, 2018 I had a dream with astral parts. As was often the case in 2018, it was about wandering around on campus. This too is a common denominator for Rob and me as an area that attracts both of us, and also in that Another Davis. I had left the classroom where I had just taught, but the campus floor plan was so complex that I couldn’t find my way back. I carried nothing but a rabbit in my hand that was giving a major effort to escape (!) and so demanded my attention. Eventually I called Rob to ask him for help. I did seem to get some help already. I think someone borrowed me their cellphone.

I had sat down in a hall somewhere, one of the many halls and corridors, keeping the rabbit as steady as I could. Rob answered the phone! The fact alone cheered me up to no end. Rob was still there! However, Pepijn started talking (?!), he also was on the, a third, line. Pepijn now talked briefly about a certain type of person and what you would call such a person: a seafarer, a pirate? I patiently allowed the takeover, but after a short while interrupted anyway with “Hey, Pepijn, you’re stealing my call, I was the one calling Rob, not you! Hello Rob?” Silence. It was as if I heard Rob holding his breath, out of surprise, or was it because he knew that the moment had come: Rob and me, talking to each another? Pepijn also was silent now. I awakened (very annoyed, because I wished that we had the chance to talk). Earlier that in the morning I had begged Rob to appear to me in my dreams or OBEs and akin.

Slowly, I am heading towards the end of this blog, but not without mentioning a few more events of the year 2019.

On January 20, 2019 I again had another one of the “the best, ever!” with Rob, this time so intense that afterwards I actually wondered if I had died and gone to heaven, and by this I mean: really had died. I was totally out of it. It started from an overall body weakness, that, though to me a frequent sensation, will always remain a disturbing phenomenon. My body seemed out of reach, like in a kind of semi-coma. I couldn’t even control my fingers to bend. There had been orgasmic outbursts as soon as I started holding the tail of Rob Robust lion immediately after I went to bed. I had an OBE that night too. And in the morning, just by the sight of the “Crook Love” Rob Lion, I had become totally aroused, my body flying off again. I felt so much love that a kind of orgasm softly erupted. The little lion with his crooked smile was sitting there so sweet and innocent, and those paws of him are most endearing.

A total, overall ecstasy spread, Rob, Robust lion laying in my arm – while writing down the current experiences too – I totally surrendered, there were subtle penetrations, and then, Rob coming, it’s simply impossible to explain accurately what happened.

The nightly image of us together at the bonfire and the intimacies that evolve from it, is strongest of all my mental images of Rob and me. The flow of multiverse and parallel-world images of Rob and me is inexhaustible, and at its center resides this campfire. Pure and sheer magic erupts in the pleasures of intimacy when I sit on Rob’s lap. When Rob gets aroused, it just as intense jumps over to me, and we are like a perfect, endless yin and yang, penetrating each other, simultaneously pleasing each other. My impression of the existence of “astral”, parallel, multiverse worlds is that together they enable a continuum. One world is attached to the other, and together the worlds form an infinite “DNA” strand, through which people also travel, creating an eternal link of interlocking possibilities.

I conclude with something that I experience as typical Rob, as I got to know him in such a unusual and fantastic way. It is these kind of images in out-of-body experiences, dreams and mental images that always give me the idea that life does go on, in parallel worlds, in the multiverse, that Rob and I really can be together, despite the course this earthly life has taken. A few things preceded it, but in the night of February 7, 2019 I had a dream about my bike that I had left unlocked:

Literally from my diary, February 7, 2019: Outside, in the bike rack, was my omafiets. It was cold outside, snow? Someone had tied my bicycle to the rack with a few thick ropes (flax and cotton), because I had no lock on it and had not brought one also. I asked, “Hey, who locked my bike!” This was already the second time this happened, because I had forgotten to lock the bike before. – Awake and association Rob! In my bed was a soft, warm woolen sweater near the wall, that I had lovingly wrapped behind a plush lion’s back, but now a sleeve of it was lovingly draped over my neck. As I had not done this (at least not consciously), I got the impression that Rob was behind this. The bike, improvised “locked”. Haha, those few thick ropes tied through the wheel and then to the rack. Typically Rob, the sweetest!

In real-life Rob had emailed me a couple of times about the leak in his house in Groningen and how he had tried to repair the leaking tube with Power Tape:

Footnotes

[1] What I mean by this, I explain in detail in my previous blog, but in short: “orgasmic outbursts”; rapture and then loaded with successively: love, warmth, support and especially erotic ecstasy.

[2] See Lion Hearts V: “There is some other strange thing going on. It seems as though Rob somehow is settling in my character too. Always a fervent anti-smoking person, since Rob passing, I have the most peculiar tendency to think about picking up a cigarette and starting to smoke. I never even had a cigarette in my mouth and the idea alone appalled me, so this is something noteworthy. Rob was a smoker. Up til now, I have successfully resisted this new impulse and I hope I can keep it up, because I suspect I won’t be helping either Rob or me. Maybe he’s still a little addicted , on “the other side”. Rob’s not being a vegetarian or vegan is kind of reflecting on my mind too. Being vegan for life, I do notice some of Rob’s former eating habits coming through too in my mind, it made me ease up a little on human carnivores and dairy eaters.”

[3] Sten Oomen, Door het Raam, edition Uitgeverij Schors 2004, page 166-167 (Dutch only).

[4] The Robbert van den Broeke / Stan story always runs sideways past the Rob and my story. See Lion Hearts Part III and Part V, but certainly also my separate Parameter WordPress site that is entirely dedicated to this (choice menu Dutch / English)

[5] BN De Stem: Hoevens medium Van den Broeke niet langer verdacht van bedreigingen: ‘Ik heb de schijn tegen’
Internetbode: Rechtzaak tegen Robbert van den Broeke geseponeerd

Where it all started

The numbers are getting higher and the stakes are also getting higher! Rob Nanninga Lion Nine of the multiples has arrived on November 1, 2018. He too is absolutely stunning! ❤️

The first thing that caught my eye was hís eye, one of two especially stands out. It’s very big and beautiful. And he quite literally jumped in my arms like he were moving by himself and lay tight and determined to my chest. I swear he keeps himself to me like that, no way on God’s green earth is he considering to let go, in an extremely strong force that is reminiscent of two magnets that stick together. This lovestory is still getting bigger and stronger! This ninth lion is hungry, figuratively speaking, but sometimes also literally. Eager (to be in my arms) is also a very good word to describe him. This is one strong-willed lion. He’s royally Hungry.

Click on and through the photos or swipe (depending on the device you use).

 …

And the whole crew:

Magician Rob Lion arriving on April 12, 2018! Number 8, making the Septuplet an Octuplet!

I purchased him on April 9, 2018, so he was quick to come home to me. On arrival day and while unwrapping him, his name popped up immediately, “The Magician”! 🎩 🎇

On the day he arrived, I went for a cycling spin later that day, and Magician Rob was immediately at it, because I found 5 very worn-down one-dollar coins – nowadays no usual payment currency – lying on the middle of a road in Vacaville. They were so worn down I just assumed they were Quarters. Later I read in Wikipedia that this is a common mistake. I decided to take them home anyway. At home I found out they were one dollar each. Close to the spot I found the coins, I found a winning scratcher (lottery ticket) worth $3. During cycling I often pick up CA Lottery scratchers for a “2nd Chance” online. Most people just throw them out after they see it’s not a winning ticket. Also with this, I only discovered when I was home that it was a winning lottery ticket. I just put it in my bike bag, assuming it was a non-winning scratcher. This made the total value of found money $5 +$3= $8. Like in, right, Octuplet 🎱.

 

🎩